gah, i dont even know how to start saying what i’ve been cooking up in my brain all morning whilst ive been doing the dishes, laundry, clean the litter boxes, sweeping floors…
i’m warning ya now, this is the most rambling, random blog post of mine yet. read on if you dare! you know i cant help but wander off into lalaland and then blurt it all out :P
hmmm soooo…i’ll get right to it. why are you here? why do you care what i think? why DO we blog?? for the world to see??!?!
those are things that have floated around my mind since i moved to sillygolucky. do i really wanna be a bloggy bloggerton? obviously i’ve learned a great deal and changed my thoughts since that post, just a mere 2 months ago.
at that point, i was so concerned about getting people to visit and comment on my blog. i mean, i needed some recognition for all those hours i put in setting up, and PAYING for a host, and the agonizing pain-in-the-buttedness of moving over my archives (still working on it…!)…
i got so frustrated being a nobody in the blogosphere. it seems like everyone had their own little cliques and i couldnt be a part of it. even tho i dont have a world-changing opinion or advice to offer, i still wanted visitors and comments! we all do, right? cause if we didnt, we’d disable the comment section. ;) hehe. we’d still have lurkers, but its just not the same.
it cracks me up to think i went through so many intense feelings of jr-high-ism, especially that first week. LOL!
but now, i feel differently. after quickly getting over the initial inexperienced blogger insecurities, now i find blogging is a good outlet for me. it feels good to write sporadically about anything i feel like. its fun to post things that are meaningful to me. i enjoy the feedback.
NaBloPoMo’s over, and im still posting every day. its an URGE. i kinda feel a commitment. like i might let someone down. i mean, im not getting paid for this! no one’s breathing down my neck. who might i let down? is this good? *starts pondering more deeply*
okay so for FUN, let’s remove ourselves from the trance of the internet. let’s sit back (NOT at your puter chair or wherever your laptop is! LOL.), look at life and the meaning of it, and absorb the realness of the people around us. pet your pet. pinch yourself. hug your honey. feel the warmth of the sun or the coldness of the snow outside.
yes, GET UP. go do one of those. NOW. oh dont be a poop, just do it and forget about my post for a sec. then come back!
*gives you like oh…10 minutes or so…*
hey…why are you still sitting there?? havent you ever heard of audience participation?? plus, im bossy. indulge me here. GO!!! ;) LOL!
*waits and twiddles sommore*
hey, you’re back :) wb!!! ;)
so why did you decide to come back and read? why do you care what i think?
this is kindasorta my view of the situation… (i’m saying kindasorta even tho it is REALLY what i think. but i’m giving myself psuedo-loophole in case someone decides to get jerky and argue with me. btw, im a bad debater—so dont even bother!)
(take two) this is kindasorta my view of the situation…i think we are lonely. over-stimulated. bored. over-worked. lacking. have too much. broke. rich. spiritual. worldly. under-appreciated. full of ourselves. friendless. popular. creative. aware. depraved. honest. seeking… discovering…
in a world where we have access to as many acquaintances as we could ever dream, how come its not enough? this causes me to ask, just how meaningful ARE these online relationships? is it lame and shallow to have so many online “friends?” am i demeaning the worth of my real life family and friends?
maybe you all have already hashed this out in your own mind and you’re saying, UH, DUH!?! and i’m just a late bloomer. LOL. quite possible. however i’m going to continue to spout off my thoughts…
are we so addicted to blogging because of the goody-gooey-acceptedness we feel being a part of this web that connects nearly all people in the world? definitely. in that large of a group of people, we’re bound to find those who agree with us (or disagree, if you’re looking for a debate), and that feels spiffy!
does blogging replace or add to some part of our lives so we, in this crazy age of technology, feel the urge to divulge the most personal parts of our souls and hearts to people we dont even know? that may appear to care but can literally walk away from you just by getting up out of their chair and stop looking at an electronic screen?
do our blog friends know more about us than the people who are real and tangible in our lives? is that right, or wrong, or does it even matter?
i dont know.
this is just another one of those things in life where ive started questioning—what good is this in my life? or in the lives of those who love me? is my blog a selfish, needy hobby? could i leave it and not feel guilty? what are my motivations for it?
maybe you’re one of the lucky people (IMHO) who doesnt have the strong NEED to be a part of something online. maybe you’re just a lurker, or maybe you can truly separate it from anything non-computer related. maybe you’re just a smart, non-needy human being who doesnt get caught up in trendy, wimpy hobbies like blogging. ;)
but for me, i have to find reason and meaning in everything i do. even blogging. that’s just me. not that i pray over my blog or anything like that. LOL. (altho, maybe i should!)
and i’ll admit, i’m a bit naiive when it comes to people and ulterior (or lack of) motives. i mean, im not dim-witted, but i tend to want to believe people have honest intentions and are good at heart. obviously there ARE wicked and evil people on (and off) the internet. but can we ever completely shelter ourselves from them? then again, how smart is it to purposely put ourselves in their path?
and i sometimes think, should i be more anonymous?
soooo i know maybe some readers are saying, “GEEZ, stop reading between the lines so much! blogging’s fun. there’s no harm in it. people have a good time, blahblahblah…”
i know i know, this post isnt very “sillygolucky” of me, is it?? hehe! well, aside from my psychobabble about my complicated view of why we blog, obviously i ENJOY it. cause im blogging about it!! LOL! it IS fun. i enjoy getting comments. and i love reading what other people feel THEY must blog about. i’ve been pretty sheltered my whole life, so it gives me a different way to look at people and the world from an individual’s point of view instead of forming opinions through other types of biased media.
on the flipside, i love it when i stumble upon a blog whose author has the same world view as me. it makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, my way of wanting to contribute to society isnt so minority. and that all us dreamers out here can actually make a difference!! lol.
i’m one of those peeps who loves people…i love to connect…and i admit, in real life i dont have many close friends anymore. i used to, but life has changed. then i moved to a place where i didnt know anyone, and hey, its hard as an adult to “make friends” again…especially when i’ve been going thru so much of my own crap this year.
so anyhoo, YES, blogging fills in that gap, just a little bit! but i cant help but wonder if its healthy, or not! i need to think about my own boundaries, and decide how much attachment i should allow myself to have to my blog and the virtual world.
im not challenging anyone or judging. im just simply conveying something i think about, figuring that i’m not the only one. i’m not looking for a pat on the back or for anyone to say they agree with me. i dont need compliments or whatnot. i suppose im just on my own self-discovery journey and, like any other personal blogger out there, needed to get this off my chest!
after the initial dunk into the blogosphere, now i can step back and look at my blog and know that this is one of the ways i can make my little teeny mark in the world.
my only hope is that by God’s blessing someone else is better for it; cause even tho i no longer wear my long, red cape, i still think i can help “save the world” in my own little way. and if not that, then at least make someone smile or feel like they’re not alone. even if it is just by spreading a little kindness around through wires and screens.
there ARE hearts on the other side, and i dont want to ever be desensitized to that.
***classic cheesey, romantical AND sincere ending***
~josey~ <——- the i-think-too-much-but-it-always-makes-me-feel-better-blogger
The way I look at it, Josey, is that the internet isn't real life. I like to tell my stories, and I hope that I can expand the worldview of a person or two. But really?
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of goofy to get your strokes from non-paying customers ;) I enjoy your comments, it shows you are really thinking about what I have to say, and that is really why I am writing. I don't expect to become rich and famous, but my goal is to build some bridges.
You are writing daily, and paying your own hosting fees. If you build it, they will come. Keep networking and leaving comments, and people will follow.
i've thought about this too sometimes. i think it can minimize real relationships if you let it take over but that's how it is with any vice. it's fun to write down your thoughts, but even more to have them read and commented upon. but we just can't get carried away - especially for those of us who have others depending on us (husbands, children etc.) It's not fair to get sucked into cyberspace when they're out there wondering what the heck happened to us.
ReplyDeletewitchyp,
ReplyDeletei'm grateful for your insightful words. i love how you put it--"my goal is to build some bridges." that's a perfect way to sum up my novel-length post. LOL!
you're welcome for the comments. i sincerely enjoy reading your blog, and i appreciate the fact that you repond to comments, as well! that makes it much more interesting and fun :D
and the money i'm paying for hosting? it's minimal, really. its much less than i used to pay to eat out every month. ;) and now that im drastically cutting back on fast food...well, it'll all come out in the wash! AND i'll probably still come out ahead ;) hehe!
hi, amy :)
ReplyDeletemy thoughts EXACTLY. that's why i finally took a second and just stepped out of my sucked-into-the-blogosphere state and asked myself to think about it all.
i dont have a loved one attempting to pull me out with bait and hook thank goodness, and i dont want it to ever get that bad, either! however, i DO enjoy it, and i want to/will keep blogging; so like you said--just like with any other vice--we must not get carried away. :)
i just want to keep my wits about me and not get glazed over and zombified into blog hell! LOL!
thanks for coming by. i always appreciate your perspective!!!
I remember when my friend Rolando married HIS BLOG! LOL!! Gosh, that was silly. I looked at his blog and thought, wow, he really did.
ReplyDeleteThere are an influx of reasons, why's, and how we blog every day. "This is such a complicated thing that your post was actually short... no lie.
First: I have found real friends and have exchanged unbelievable soul searching ideas. It's easier to write feeling than to say them sometimes.
Second: I find that I laugh and get more entertainment blogging than watching TV. Furthermore, watching to much TV is gay. Not meaning that I dislike gay people... just that TV is gay :-)
Third: You are funny
LOL speedcat...i appreciate you saying my post was short. BLESS YOU! no one has EV-ER told me i didnt talk too much. LOL!
ReplyDelete1) i, too, have made meaningful buddies online. i hope i didnt come off as brash and uncaring! of course i appreciate all the opinions, ideas, jokes and inspiration all my blogging buddies pass around. some things have touched me very deeply. i agree, too, that its definitely easier to write how we feel than say it. praise be to the Backspace god! ;)
2) i have never been much of a tv person anyhoo, altho now that i work from home i do watch more than i used to...but still, easily under 5 hours a week. reading blogs is like having the perfectly designed magazine subscription--you pick and choose what goes in it! and its FREE!
3) i am not funny. that is simply your perception because you are weerd. :P haha!
Quite a ramble, Josey! :)
ReplyDeleteFor me, blogging is my mental scratch patch first and foremost. It would be great if my thoughts were helpful to others and I love comments but that's not the main reason I write. I write to get it off my chest, a bit like keeping a journal I guess.
Having said, I've gathered a collection of regular readers that I might even call e-friends, and I like the fact that we gradually get to know each other better. But in the back of my head is the awareness that this is a very public forum and I think a degree of anonymity is called for. I'd be a bit concerned if someone took a dislike to me and knew where I lived. The internet allows a much wider range of people into your living room, not all entirely sane and/or well-intentioned.
Now you've got me rambling!! ;-)
hello, robert!! thanks so much for your ramblings...i LOVE ramblings! hehe. but seriously, i am on the same page with your thoughts. i, too, use my blog as my "scratch pad." i like that term!!
ReplyDeletei suppose there are just days where i'm paranoid i'll let myself get too wrapped up in the virtual world, ya know? i realize not everyone has that same weakness, but i just had to get it out. i tend to over-analyze a lot of things, too, but i also enjoy thinking a little deeper (more than maybe is necessary. hehe.). and usually that's what comes out in my blog!! ;)