time to heal :)

well happy monday!



its been nearly a week since i had my laparoscopy. im definitely still healing! the last 3 days have actually been more rough than the first few. it probably didnt help that late last week i felt REALLY bad--very dizzy and nauseas, and i let anxiety creep in. my heart raced all that night, most of the next day and night and i have just felt like crap since then!



im feeling less anxiety now, but its still there. i have to admit im pretty embarrassed to be writing this in my blog. im finding that my anxiety has been a real hidden, secret culprit of a lot of my physical "crappiness" (if i may word it that way LOL).



most people see me as a cheerful, bubbly, positive person--which i inherently am--but the anxiety is my weakness and i know i have to get it under control or it will damage my long-term health, happiness, and relationships!!



so as far as the surgery...it went well. i actually meet with my dr this wednesday for my post-op appointment and will get filled in on all the details, as he only gave my hubby limited info after the surgery.



i definitely have endometriosis, but im not sure how severe it is. since the day i found out i'd be having surgery, i have done a lot of reading about endo, its effects, treatments, and causes. (the best site i've found so far...check it out!) a lot of it is up in the air to scientists, so there's no one set way for each woman to deal with this disease.



after my reading, thought and prayer, i have decided to take a holistic, natural approach before i take any prescription drugs--partly because no matter what the drug, there is NO cure. it only temporarily treats the problem, many times with really yucky side-effects.



the other part is because the changes i will need to make in my life and lifestyle to deal with the endometriosis will also benefit my whole health in general, and lead me toward the goals i already have set for myself.



to me, that seems the smartest--inexpensive, less coping with drug side-effects, and really all it can do is help and not hurt me. it really almost forces me to be committed to my health in a whole different way! i'm not sure how my dr will feel about it, but i cant really expect him to offer me a naturalistic option because he's not that kind of doctor.



the only thing that will change my mind is if he has drastic information for me that i dont already know now. but i will find out wednesday and will go from there!



wellp, on a lighter note--my weight is down to 206!! :D im perty durned excited to be SO CLOSE to 200!! on top of that, im only 8lb away from my 10% inital weight loss goal. YAYYYYY!



im just getting so excited the spring is almost here, and i'll be able to be outside more and get more active in general. even though i've had some ups and downs so far this year, i know that i am making progress! it takes a lot of falling down and getting back up to learn something and make it stick!



i feel i owe my yahoo group and my hubby much thanks for all the support and encouragement they give me. they have been much of what has pulled me up by my bootstraps those times i HAVE fallen! hehehe!!



oh one more thing...this week i'm reading in Isaiah. i came across this passage in chapter 40 which instantly put a tune in my head from a chorus we used to sing in college chapel.



to put it in context, Isaiah is writing to comfort the people of Israel as they are held captive. (actually he is prophesying the captivity, which makes it even cooler!) the whole chapter is great, but the following was what we put to song...



28 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.



29 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.



30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;



31 but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.





may you have a productive, happy, joyful monday!!



~josey~