okay, i need some professional sleuth intervention here!!its a mystery to me that in the last several months since i started really honing in on making my diet better, every time i "fall off the wagon" its more and more extreme!!
no, im not binging and purging or anything like that. i just find myself more and more piggish with food, like im a contestant on survivor and we just got a food reward *HAH*, and that i'll keep eating whatever i feel like it until i burst!! or i just never feel full!!
i dont know if i am depriving myself too much of foods i really enjoy (cause MODERATION is my MOTTO!!!), or if mcd's and bk are making their recipes more addictive!
so yeah, for the last week or so, i've been possessed by the fast food monster!! i cannot count on one hand the number of HOMEMADE meals ive had since late last week, and i eat 3 meals a day plus snacks.
the sad part is i have a refrigerator full of healthy, whole foods that have gone untouched...and in the meantime, our food budget for the month has imploded! LOL!!! and when i eat junk, so does the hubby which ultimately makes me feel sooo guilty! you would think a couple bouts of heartburn from all the grease and sugar would stop me.
BUT NOooooooooooooo!! gimme more!! glutton-city!
GEEZ it makes me think of that guy on SuperSize Me, saying how after the first few days of eating mcd's actually made him hyper and he was flying high. THEN...after the malnutrition or whatever set in, he started feeling like crap.
i think im nearly to that point already. my pores are saturated with trans fats, my hair is oily, my face looks old and my teeth are rotting away from all the DQ! *LOL!*
okayokay, so im being a bit melodramatic, i'll admit. but its such a rollercoaster...because for the week after my surgery, i ate sooo healthily. then BAM! i had one indulgent meal and it sent me to snarf-down-lalaland. BLAH!
i swore today id get back on track cold turkey. not so yet. brekky was mcd's. lunch was one piece of leftover frozen chicken pizza and i FORCED myself to eat a baby romaine salad with it. you should have heard me, i literally whined and said "ICK! i dont wanna eat it...*whiiiiiiinnnnnnnne*" as i scrunched my nose and shoved it into my mouth.
GOSH i donno how hubby puts up with me some days. LOLOL! it was SO PATHETIC!
okayokay, geez im nearly gloating about my childish antics :| so anyhoo, here's the deal. tonite i'm gonna cook up some yummy herbed chicken breast with a salad and peas. AND starting tomorrow, i'm going to log my food here on my blog for the rest of the week (thru friday).
usually i do it on my yahoo group, but i've taken a few week break since my surgery. i'll go ahead and do it there, too, but im posting it here to be even MORE accountable!! so sorry if the logs are boring but heck who knows, maybe they will somehow inspire you! hehehe!
soooo will good ole encyclopedia brown be able to solve the mystery of the fast food freak?? HAH! maybe when he's old enough to understand women and our strange cravings and hormonal issues and super complex minds that make things more complicated than necessary! HEHEHE!!!
allllrighty, i have other junk to blab about, but i'll save it for another day this week. time to go get supper started!!!
hope you're enjoying spring today wherever you are!!!
~josey~
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