i'm back!

wow, its been quite a while since i've written...but to me, it seems like only a week or so ago!! hehe!



well, all our guests have come and gone...in quite a blink of an eye 8^| we had an AWESOME time, first with my sister, hubby, daughter and son staying with us for 4 days...then the kids stayed for the following week.



then, while the kids were still here, one of my hubby's old buddies was passing thru town, and his wife and kids stayed with us for the weekend. during that time we had a cookout/get together for the "crew" of old friends since the one was back in town...so that was a blast having everyone over! :D



so, over the span of 2 weeks, we went from just me and hubby (and the pets of course LOL) to as many as 6 more people staying in the house...plus around 15 for the day when we had the cookout. we had so much fun and im so bored now that everyone's gone! HAHAH!!



okay well, so not to be a downer, but this week my motivation has been NIL. it sucks!! i havent eaten well, i havent even showered every day! i've been watching tons of tv, which i rarely do, and havent really been a very good domestic princess! LOL! ;)



i know most of it is because i went from being so busy and organized while everyone was here--which i loved--but then BAM! they were all gone, so now its back to the old routine and it is so slow-paced *hehe* i know i would be so much happier having a kid to take care of or SOMETHING...!!! hopefully one day that will be true :)



then, in just a few short weeks is my bday! i was reallllllly hoping to be under 200 (aka my 10% loss goal) for that. i still might, if i get my act together ASAP. i dont want this to be another bday where i say..."if i'd have only stuck with it i could have reached that goal!!" ah well. i guess i cant whine...because i HAVE lost about 20lb this year, and that is something to be proud of, right?? RIGHT! :D



well i did manage to get some things done around the house today...sheets washed...clean clothes and towels put away...beds remade...and ive got a few other things in progress...and i do feel better :)



i just feel like im starting to get too hard on myself, cause for some reason if i lose my motivational groove then i eat junk, start to get all hermity, and start feeling sorry for myself. you know, all that mean self-talk like "you are a fat slob! look at all those other pretty women!" and "you are such a bad wife...you have all day to keep this house clean and you havent done a thing!"



and the worst one for me..."you'll never be healthier, so why even bother??"



welp, im telling myself now that i am NOT a fat slob, that im a GREAT wife (im pretty sure hubby thinks so! ), and i AM healthier than i was a year ago...baby steps!!!



hmmm i guess this post is turning out to be a cheer-up letter to myself. LOL! well, im allowed to do that so dangit i am!! :) i suppose cheering ourselves up is something we're not really programmed to do, is it?



many times we expect others in our lives to be RIGHT there, anytime we need something (esp our significant other). well...sometimes they are...but if they arent (putting aside the reason!), we cant just curl up in our own ball of self-pity and play the martyr just to have an excuse to do nothing and whine!! this is typical of me!!



i rarely say it out loud, but its what goes through my head and sometimes its really damaging. not only does it push me deeper into my pity party, but then i treat others around me in a negative way.



that's not fair. no one's perfect, and when i need a pat on the back or some encouragement and there's no one there to dispense it, i need to give it to myself!!



im finding that's part of growing up i dont like it, tho. LOL. but i am doing it right now, because i know there is no reason to keep choosing to feel that way, when i have so many other things to be thankful for and happy about. so THERE, bad mood! BE GONE!! (LOL, i know, im a freak LOL)



okay, well its time for me to skedattle for now! we are going to hubby's company party for the summer later today, and im making chicken quesadillas. should be a great time!!



its almost the weekend...ENJOY!!!



~jos~