who cares what i think?

gah, i dont even know how to start saying what i’ve been cooking up in my brain all morning whilst ive been doing the dishes, laundry, clean the litter boxes, sweeping floors…

i’m warning ya now, this is the most rambling, random blog post of mine yet.  read on if you dare!  you know i cant help but wander off into lalaland and then blurt it all out :P 

hmmm soooo…i’ll get right to it.  why are you here?  why do you care what i think?  why DO we blog??  for the world to see??!?!

those are things that have floated around my mind since i moved to sillygolucky.  do i really wanna be a bloggy bloggerton?  obviously i’ve learned a great deal and changed my thoughts since that post, just a mere 2 months ago.

at that point, i was so concerned about getting people to visit and comment on my blog.  i mean, i needed some recognition for all those hours i put in setting up, and PAYING for a host, and the agonizing pain-in-the-buttedness of moving over my archives (still working on it…!)…

i got so frustrated being a nobody in the blogosphere.  it seems like everyone had their own little cliques and i couldnt be a part of it.  even tho i dont have a world-changing opinion or advice to offer, i still wanted visitors and comments!  we all do, right?  cause if we didnt, we’d disable the comment section. ;) hehe.  we’d still have lurkers, but its just not the same.

it cracks me up to think i went through so many intense feelings of jr-high-ism, especially that first week. LOL! 

but now, i feel differently.  after quickly getting over the initial inexperienced blogger insecurities, now i find blogging is a good outlet for me.  it feels good to write sporadically about anything i feel like.  its fun to post things that are meaningful to me.  i enjoy the feedback.  

NaBloPoMo’s over, and im still posting every day.  its an URGE.  i kinda feel a commitment.  like i might let someone down.  i mean, im not getting paid for this!  no one’s breathing down my neck.  who might i let down?  is this good?  *starts pondering more deeply*

okay so for FUN, let’s remove ourselves from the trance of the internet.  let’s sit back (NOT at your puter chair or wherever your laptop is! LOL.), look at life and the meaning of it, and absorb the realness of the people around us.  pet your pet.  pinch yourself.  hug your honey.  feel the warmth of the sun or the coldness of the snow outside.

yes, GET UP. go do one of those.  NOW.  oh dont be a poop, just do it and forget about my post for a sec.  then come back!

*gives you like oh…10 minutes or so…*

hey…why are you still sitting there??  havent you ever heard of audience participation??  plus, im bossy.  indulge me here.  GO!!! ;) LOL!

*waits and twiddles sommore* 

hey, you’re back :)  wb!!! ;) 

so why did you decide to come back and read?  why do you care what i think?

this is kindasorta my view of the situation… (i’m saying kindasorta even tho it is REALLY what i think.  but i’m giving myself psuedo-loophole in case someone decides to get jerky and argue with me.  btw, im a bad debater—so dont even bother!) 

(take two)  this is kindasorta my view of the situation…i think we are lonely.  over-stimulated.  bored.  over-worked.  lacking.  have too much.  broke.  rich.  spiritual.  worldly.  under-appreciated.  full of ourselves.  friendless.  popular.  creative.  aware.  depraved.  honest.  seeking…  discovering…

in a world where we have access to as many acquaintances as we could ever dream, how come its not enough?  this causes me to ask, just how meaningful ARE these online relationships?  is it lame and shallow to have so many online “friends?”  am i demeaning the worth of my real life family and friends?     

maybe you all have already hashed this out in your own mind and you’re saying, UH, DUH!?! and i’m just a late bloomer. LOL.  quite possible.  however i’m going to continue to spout off my thoughts…  

are we so addicted to blogging because of the goody-gooey-acceptedness we feel being a part of this web that connects nearly all people in the world?  definitely.  in that large of a group of people, we’re bound to find those who agree with us (or disagree, if you’re looking for a debate), and that feels spiffy!

does blogging replace or add to some part of our lives so we, in this crazy age of technology, feel the urge to divulge the most personal parts of our souls and hearts to people we dont even know?  that may appear to care but can literally walk away from you just by getting up out of their chair and stop looking at an electronic screen?

do our blog friends know more about us than the people who are real and tangible in our lives?  is that right, or wrong, or does it even matter?

i dont know. 

this is just another one of those things in life where ive started questioning—what good is this in my life?  or in the lives of those who love me?  is my blog a selfish, needy hobby?  could i leave it and not feel guilty?  what are my motivations for it?

maybe you’re one of the lucky people (IMHO) who doesnt have the strong NEED to be a part of something online.  maybe you’re just a lurker, or maybe you can truly separate it from anything non-computer related.  maybe you’re just a smart, non-needy human being who doesnt get caught up in trendy, wimpy hobbies like blogging. ;)

but for me, i have to find reason and meaning in everything i do.  even blogging.  that’s just me.  not that i pray over my blog or anything like that. LOL. (altho, maybe i should!) 

and i’ll admit, i’m a bit naiive when it comes to people and ulterior (or lack of) motives.  i mean, im not dim-witted, but i tend to want to believe people have honest intentions and are good at heart.  obviously there ARE wicked and evil people on (and off) the internet.  but can we ever completely shelter ourselves from them?  then again, how smart is it to purposely put ourselves in their path?

and i sometimes think, should i be more anonymous?  

soooo i know maybe some readers are saying, “GEEZ, stop reading between the lines so much!  blogging’s fun.  there’s no harm in it.  people have a good time, blahblahblah…” 

i know i know, this post isnt very “sillygolucky” of me, is it??  hehe!  well, aside from my psychobabble about my complicated view of why we blog, obviously i ENJOY it.  cause im blogging about it!! LOL!  it IS fun.  i enjoy getting comments.  and i love reading what other people feel THEY must blog about.  i’ve been pretty sheltered my whole life, so it gives me a different way to look at people and the world from an individual’s point of view instead of forming opinions through other types of biased media. 

on the flipside, i love it when i stumble upon a blog whose author has the same world view as me.  it makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, my way of wanting to contribute to society isnt so minority.  and that all us dreamers out here can actually make a difference!!  lol.

i’m one of those peeps who loves people…i love to connect…and i admit, in real life i dont have many close friends anymore.  i used to, but life has changed.  then i moved to a place where i didnt know anyone, and hey, its hard as an adult to “make friends” again…especially when i’ve been going thru so much of my own crap this year. 

so anyhoo, YES, blogging fills in that gap, just a little bit!  but i cant help but wonder if its healthy, or not!  i need to think about my own boundaries, and decide how much attachment i should allow myself to have to my blog and the virtual world. 

im not challenging anyone or judging.  im just simply conveying something i think about, figuring that i’m not the only one.  i’m not looking for a pat on the back or for anyone to say they agree with me.  i dont need compliments or whatnot. i suppose im just on my own self-discovery journey and, like any other personal blogger out there, needed to get this off my chest! 

after the initial dunk into the blogosphere, now i can step back and look at my blog and know that this is one of the ways i can make my little teeny mark in the world.

my only hope is that by God’s blessing someone else is better for it; cause even tho i no longer wear my long, red cape, i still think i can help “save the world” in my own little way.  and if not that, then at least make someone smile or feel like they’re not alone.  even if it is just by spreading a little kindness around through wires and screens.

there ARE hearts on the other side, and i dont want to ever be desensitized to that.

 

***classic cheesey, romantical AND sincere ending*** 

 

~josey~  <——- the i-think-too-much-but-it-always-makes-me-feel-better-blogger
 

i'll have a crunchy taco supreme with that

 

i hope so and ern, will you guys still love me?  *sniffle*snort*

will ANYONE still love me for that matter!?!?! LOL!

i_am_shocked! 

. o O (wowsers, i guess all that cod liver oil i’m taking is actually working…)

*dorky nerdalicious deep thought pose*
 

beautiful and sexy awards

beau·ti·ful  /ˈbyutəfəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronuncia[byoo-tuh-fuhl]

delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or emotional admiration.

 

 

 

 

 

sex·y  [sěk’sē]

highly appealing or interesting; attractive.

 

 

 

 

 

it is with humble modesty i accept the beautiful blogger and sexy blogger awards from ivy over at Chuvaness… Chakaness… Eclavu…!  hop on over there and congratulate her on her new very own URL! YAY :)

i take these as a sincere compliment, and pass them on with the same sentiments* to the following woman bloggers, whom i visit frequently:

erina @ into the inkpot :  she’s on haitus right now, but her writing and spirit are without comparison.  she’s beautiful on the inside and out. 

starshine @ the starshine report : a woman of strong faith, talented, kind-hearted and a great sense of humor!  she’s the kind of attractiveness that’s hard to find these days.

Y @ joy unexpected :  a real woman—mom, wife, lover, friend…and more.  she’s sweet, she’s sour, she’s sentimental, she’s sexy!

thanks again, ivy, for this thoughtful award!!

* see definitions at the top of the post. :) 
 

do i really have googly eyes?? O-o

(googly eyes?) 

good morning! :)

yesterday i was tagged by elaine of Nocturnal Blogger’s Introspect to do this fun meme.  and it was HER very first tag—so thanks, elaine, for picking me to pass it on! =D  

eric “well i’ll be as happy as a chicken in a roasting pot” at speedcat hollydale also tagged me as well!!  ROTFL! 

as anyone who reads my blog enuff knows, i already divulge a lot of information about my psyche and other junk about my life.  so, i thought i’d be semi-creative and do something a little different! 

here’s 7 random mini-quizzy-wizzy results that tell you a little more about me. hehe!  i got my inpsiration from i hope so, who did a few quizzes of her own yesterday :)  AND, feel free to do the quizzes yourself and tell me your results!  oh come on, you know you wanna. hehe.

You Are Grass Green What Color Green Are You?

Down to earth and a bit of a hippie, you are very into nature and the outdoors. You accept the world and people as they are. You don’t try to change things. You are also very comfortable with yourself, flaws and all. Optimistic about the future, you feel like life is always getting better. green is my FAVE color.  i ALWAYS say that “grass green” is the crayola color i’d be!! hehe!!  so it tickled me that this is the EXACT color of green i got!  i see this description as my IDEAL SELF.  you know, when im not having hormonal disruptions or brain clutter or anything like that.  and yes, i’m a hippie at heart. ‘nuff said. :)

 

Your Superpower Should Be Manipulating Electricity What Should Your Superpower Be?

You’re highly reactive, energetic, and super charged. If the occasion calls for it, you can go from 0 to 60 in a split second. But you don’t harness your energy unless you truly need to. And because of this, people are often surprised by what you are capable of. Why you would be a good superhero: You have the stamina to fight enemies for days. Your biggest problem as a superhero: As with your normal life, people would continue to underestimate you. hmmm, i find this one intriguing.  i suppose most of my life HAS been pretty easy, really.  i havent ever really been challenged to literally “give it my all,” show oodles of heroism or anything like that.  so, if this quizzy-wizzy is right, it’s good to know i’ll have the stuff needed when and if the time arrives. hehe!

You Belong in San Francisco Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

You crave an eclectic, urban environment. You’re half California, half NYC. You’re open minded, tolerant, and secretly think you’re the best. People may dismiss you as a hippie, but you’re also progressive, interesting, and rich! this one CRACKED me up! (esp the “rich” part. ha!)  it seems like most everyone whose blog i read lives in CALI!  what gives?  so…i thought i’d let all you sunny folks know where i might live if i relocated :)  (dont worry, i’m not.  geez, take a breath! hahah!!)  i’m the best no matter where i live anyhoo. HAHAHAH!!! j/k ;)  soo really, what ARE San Franciscans like?  school this sheltered midwestern girl!

Your English Skills: Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Grammar: 100% Punctuation: 100% Spelling: 100% Vocabulary: 80% i mention this on my who i am and why i’m here page.  this is proof, with NO CHEATING, that my word is good that i AM a good grammar student.  hehehe!!  and as i’m sure i’ve mentioned before, i am a bit elementaryish in my vocabulary but that just makes you all feel smarty-farty when you read my blog. hahaha.

You Are Paper Are You Rock, Paper, or Scissors?

Crafty and creative, you are able to adapt freely to almost any situation. People tend to underestimate you, unless they’ve truly seen what you are capable of. Deep down, you’re always scheming and thinking up new plans. Your mind is constantly active. You are quite capable of anything you dream of. You can always figure out a way to get what you want. You can wrap a rock person up in your sheet of trickery. A scissor person can sneak up and cut you to pieces. When you fight: No one can anticipate your next move. If someone makes you mad: You’ll attack them mercilessly when they’re unprepared. interesting!  another reference that i am underestimated.  im beginning to wonder if i have a complex about this of which i’m not consciously aware.  hmmmm.  oh, and i am most certainly always scheming and planning—it’s one of my bestest skills.  i mean, how else would i ever be able to take over the world??? BWAAHAHA!!! >;-D

You Are Not Destined to Rule the World Are You Destined For World Domination?

You are destined for something else… Like inventing a new type of cupcake. You just don’t have the stomach for brutality. But watch out - because many people do! well CRAP!! there goes that lifelong goal…*cries*  but well…i guess…yeah, cupcakes…how about 2 cups of flour, 1 egg, 6 oz of baker’s chocolate…OH no wait, DARK chocolate, yeah…*mumbles into the kitchen with pen in hand*

You Are Cookie Monster The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you’re a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you’ll eat anything if cookies aren’t around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and unusual way of speaking. How you live your life: In the moment. “Me want COOKIE!” ROTFLROTFL!!!  O_M_Gosh!!  okay, this is just too perfect.  *super narcissistic moment*   at my last job, i was quite popular for my homemade chocolate chip cookies.  i mean, people would sissyfight over these things, or hoard them at their desks and even be sick with stomach aches for eating too many! HAHA! (i do have to say, choccy chip cookies have ALWAYS been my fave…so of course i had to create the perfect cookie recipe for my own pleasure!!)  plus, one of my good friends/coworkers and i always had a joke that we were the cookie monsters (i think she’s the bigger one tho. haha.).  we were always hungry, too, so we’d go around saying, “me hungee.  me want cookie!” LOL!  i even got her a vintage cookie monster cookie jar as her wedding gift!  and to top it all off, cookie monster has always been my favorite sesame street muppet!!

 

   

 

WHEW! okay!  on to business…heheh…

here’s the official rules:

come up with seven “facts” about yourself, then:

1) link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2) share 7 facts about yourself.
3) tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4) let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

okay first, because i have been SO inspired by other bloggers to break the rules…hehe…those of you whom i tag, i’d like to challenge you to do something creative with it!  dont just list your 7 things…sing them; make them into a poem; change the theme to make it relevant to your blog, interests, or beliefs; make it into an artform; turn it into a writing exercise or story or SOMEthing!  i mean, its just too easy and boring to simply list 7 things ;)

so, im taggin these folks because i think they can come with something interesting and original! (yep, the pressure’s on. LOL):

robert @ Mulled Vine

joanne @ the laid.back buddhist 

lisa @ design your writing life

jen @ so you wannabee a Domestik Goddess? 

ALSO… 

i would like to see robert of Observations From The Back 40 do this quiz, to prove his lifestyle claim! ;)

i’m curious to see olga, the traveling bra’s result for this quiz…hehe.

and of course, the mystery of the millennia…speedcat, please enlighten us!

WOW okay, yes, im done!!! hahah.  i had fun with this.  i hope you all did, too!!  

enjoy your tuuuueessdeee! =D

~jos~

weighin' down & chillin' out :)

welp, here it is 3 days into december and i’m still posting every day.  what in the heck? :-O 

it just feels weerd not to stop in and say hi, when i’m already lurking about reading all of my bloggy friends’ loverly posts.  plus, i dont have anyone else to talk to anyhoo—so i might as well entertain myself! LOL!

well GUESS WHAT!!!  when i stepped on the scale this morning…

it said i lost 1.4lb since last monday!  YAYYYYYYYYYY!

and GUESS WHAT else?  i have to fess up that i didnt stick to my exercise plan last week. AT ALL. *hides under my desk*  i didnt produce one drop of sweat. for nothin. hehe.  oopsie.  however, i did eat pretty durned well and im sure that is where the 1.4lb loss came from.  so give me HALF a pat on the back! hahah!

we even ate at home ALL weekend, except friday nite (cause we usually go out friday nites).  even then i didnt do too shabby—i had breakfast food! hehe!  eggs, bacon, toast, decaf, and hash browns.  no pancakes or french toast loaded with syrup or anything like that!  i think just eating homecooked food all weekend in itself helped me drop that little bit of weight.  usually the weekend screws me over. ;) 

soooo last nite i did up our menu again for the week.  i also reminded myself that if i REALLY TRULY want to reach ONEderland by new year’s, i better get my butt MOVING.  literally.  especially because my (short term) goal requires me to lose at least 2lb a week!

i NEED to be exercising anyway, even if i wasnt overweight.  with the endometriosis/thyroid/hormone issues i have, exercise helps keep things in check.  the most noticeable is my MOOD!  which, by the way, hasnt been too bad in the last week and a half or so.  which is NICE.  i dont think i’ve cried once! LOL!  yay me? hehehe.   

right now i have a cali cat on my arm.  she is such a desk hog!  she’s always laying between me and the keyboard and puts her little head and arms (yes, i call their front legs ARMS. lol.) over my forearm.  sometimes it makes it hard to type, but she doesnt care if she is blipping up and down.  she’s sucha lazy cat, not to mention our worst shedder!  she’s only here because i have a space heater blowing on me! LOL.  oh well, i love her…she is a very loud purrer and super snuggly, so that makes up for the desk hogging. ;)  i’m sure all you cat owners will nod in understanding! hehe.

on another note, it is FREAKIN cold here in WI!  when i got up this morning it was about 14 degrees.  EEP!  i dont plan on leaving the house today if i dont haveta ;)  and thank goodness the sun is shining through the windows to provide some much-needed warmth.  chillin’ out isnt ALWAYS fun! hehe! 

alright, i spose that’s enough ramblin on for one day.  does anyone else have a fitness/health/weight loss goal they’re trying to reach by the end of the year?  if so, let me know so i can cheer you on!!

have a HAPPY monday!!! =D

~jos~
 

little things

i’m feeling all warm and fuzzy today.  (and no, its not because i need to shave! ROTFL!!)  this last week was just so mellow and normal.  and now that the hustle and bustle of thanksgiving is over, i realize how thankful i am for the little things… 

 

 
“just because” roses…

 

snowy whiskers and noses… 

a winter sunset’s firey show… 

our christmas tree (and spirits) aglow.

what a great week it was*.  here’s to the first whole week of december!

~josey~ 

* DISCLAIMER: except for the fact i am still weeping for missing ONE FREAKIN DAY of posting after working so hard to post meaningfully all month. (does posting a comment on my own blog count?? LOL. dang.)  *sigh*  okay, no more whining about it!

lots of newbish bloggy questions

hey everyone! (happy december!!)

yesterday i was messin around with my blog, just cleaning things up on the main navigation bar and such. 

i thought i’d try to use feedburner to make it easier for folks to subscribe, because i like using it on others’ blogs.  so but well, previously i had used my host’s RSS subscription set up and they had it so peeps could subscribe to my content as well as my comments.  im not sure why they do it that way, cause i dont see a MAIN subscription for comments on most other blogs.  maybe because the level of blog hosting i pay for doesnt include the ability for people to subscribe to comments from a specific post?  i’m not sure :(

anyhoo, i made two feeds on my feedburner account—one for my content and one for my comments.  it doesnt seem to be working as far as stats, tho it appears the actual subscribing works. i dont know!  lol! im sure there’s something simple im missing.  anyone have any suggestions or just general info about stuff like that?  i just wanna have the right up-to-date tools on my page without being all cluttered up.

i guess another thing is the “you comment, i follow” thing.  i dont quite understand it all.  ive read some stuff about it, but its just not clicking in my newbish brain ;)  there’s too much techie language and i cant get past that *lol*  when someone leaves a comment on my blog, they can enter their URL, but once the comment is complete it’s not a direct link back to their site ,but instead one to mine and then it lists theirs.

to me, that doesnt seem like theyre getting any benefit from commenting!  i just wanna make sure those who comment on my blog get their linky love! (and speaking of, i’m actually a little foggy on the link love, too!  oh, the shame.  does it have to do with google ranking or technorati authority or what?) 

i’ve been a little afraid i chose the wrong blogging host and its just not newbie-user-friendly enough for me.  but then again, maybe i just need to study up!?   HELP!

oh yeah, and how do you get those kewl little tags at the end of your post for digg, technorati, etc…?  is it simply a CSS thing or whatever that you have to add to your style sheet?  cause i dont know how to do that. LOL.  is it redundant to have them in your sidebar AND at the end of your posts? 

one last thing…google reader.  is it just me, or did they change it or something last week?  i cant seem to be able to add a subscription manually anymore, but instead am forced to use some button i had to drag to my toolbar.  this is an issue cause now i cant seem to add, for example, speedcat hollydale, to my reader—it says it cant find a feed!?  if i click his subscribe button, it takes me to my yahoo (should i just be using yahoo? is that the problem? lol.).  previously, i was able to go my google reader page and simply type in ANY URL.  *CRIES*  i dont get it!! 

so, if someone could please enlighten me on the whole reader scene i would be forEVer grateful!

FYI for all you whom i have subscribed to (which is pretty much anyone on whose site i comment!), i simply use the reader to find out when you have posted something new.  then i always GO TO YOUR BLOG and read up! that way you get the satisfaction of another hit :D  plus, i’d just rather “feel the ambience” of the page you’ve created to express yourself.  maybe that doesnt matter, but i personally think its a nice thing to do. hehe.  i suppose its like going to a friend’s house to see them instead of just emailing or something, right?  RIGHT! =D    

okay my brain hurts now :\  hehe.   i’ll watch for your educational comments *crosses fingers*…and i’ll check in tomorrow for Simple Sundays!!

have a superiffic saturday :)  im putting up my christmas tree today!! 

~jos~ 

ooohhh p.s.  i just had to post this, it made me giggle.  i love kitty commentators! i just imagine this one whispering, with a British accent. LOL!!

moar funny pictures