Monday, April 28, 2008

an (un)fortunate reading experience

hi everyone!

wow, where’ve i been? hehe!  well if you ask my husband, i’ve had my nose stuck in books and magazines the last few weeks! hehe! 

i have this strange habit of reading several different books (plus 2-3 different magazines) at the same time.  i donno why.  maybe because now that i go to the library all the time and the books are free (i used to belong to book clubs and buy them all the time!  egads!), it’s easy to grab a few and then just read them as i’m in the mood throughout the day/evening.TheBadBeginning.jpg

just last night i finished reading Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. many of you have probably seen the movie, like i did, starring Jim Carrey.  i saw it not too long after it came out.  it was okay—but a bit dark and creepy for me considering it was supposed to be a kids’ movie!   if you havent, in short, it’s about 3 orphaned siblings and their woeful story of being shuffled from guardian to guardian, all the while a sinister man trying to steal their family’s fortune.

but then i found out it was based on books and was curious to read them.  there’s 13 (juvenile fiction) books in the series, and the movie only covers the first 3 (therefore, doesn’t tell the whole complicated story!).  so, last summer i read 8 of them.  but then i could never get ahold of book 9 or 10—they were always checked out! hehe!  so i gave up until just last week, when books 9-13 were in.  so i checked them all out and like i said, finished them last nite.  i actually read the last two books both yesterday! LOL!

i have to admit when i first started reading them last summer, i was a bit disappointed.  in fact, i kept thinking to myself—i dont think i’d want my own child to read these!  they are very morbid—and usually more than one person dies during each book and always in a quite um, unfortunate way.  

fortunately, they arent very gruesome at all—but as the author always warns at the beginning of each book and also in a letter to the reader on the back cover, you should never expect happy endings:

Dear Reader,

Unless you are a slug, a sea anenome, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp.  You might also prefer not to read this book, in which the Baudelaire siblings encounter an unpleasant amount of dampness as they descend into the depths of despair, underwater.

In fact, the horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and you wouldn’t want me even to mention the worst of it, which includes mushrooms, a desperate search for something lost, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing. 

As a dedicated author who has pledged to keep recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans’ lives.  You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier book in order to keep your eyes and your spirits from being dampened. 

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

The Grim Grotto, Book the Eleventh

but of course his fair warnings only curiosify! hehe! :)

i’m not much of one for book reviews that give too much away, but let me say that i was very hooked to this series, especially once more mysterious (and unfortunate!) events kept creeping into the plot.  i’m a sucker for stuff like that.  and UNLIKE most adult fiction mystery books i read—i DIDNT figure this one out!

in fact, i’m so curiosified that i put The Beatrice Letters by Lemony Snicket on hold at the library. hehe!  it’s supposed to help clear up a lot of the loose ends and questions readers might have about many of the secret circumstances that surround the Baudelaire’s lives.

i was also interested in finding out more about Lemony Snicket himself!  while that link was interesting enough, i found that reading about Mr. Snicket’s uhh, representative, Mr. Handler, quite intriguing now that i’ve read the books! 

however, DONT look up Lemony Snicket himself on Wiki, unless you want more secrets revealed to you that could spoil the fun in reading the books.  i purposely waited until i was finished with them, and i’m glad i did!  but, if you’re like one of those little kids who MUST find his Christmas gifts where they’re hidden in the closet before Christmas morning, then by all means, read about Lemony Snicket and his secrets! LOL!   

i was also quite impressed with the amount of information packed into each book, and how the author is very consistent with his facts between books.  as you continue to progress in the series, there are many references about past events to help you connect it all together into one big, cohesive account of the characters’ lives.  

in fact, i almost find myself missing the Baudelaires! hehe!  kinda like how i felt after reading The Chronicles of Narnia (my fave books of all time!).  you become very attached to the characters because the books reveal so much about their personas that they seem like real people. 

if you enjoy easy-to-read fantasy that’s a bit dark and humorous yet with witty (and very sad and true) tales of the human condition all wound up and concealed in a juvenile fiction form, then i definitely recommend this series of books!

ANYHOO…this has once again got my creative juices flowing for my own juvenile fiction writing.  yes, i’ve been interested in it for years!  i’ve not yet completed a book, but i’ve got plenty of little stories on the side.  in fact, here’s a short one (based on a true story from my own life!) you may enjoy called crinkle crinkle scoop.  i suppose it might be more suited to an audience of adults born in the 70s moreso than kids tho. hehe!!

alrighty, off i go…to write while the pen’s hot!!

enjoy your monday!

~josey~ 
 



Friday, April 11, 2008

bad day?

…well if you’re havin one, watch one of my all-time fave music vids! :)

yes i feel gooby saying it about THIS particular song, but there’s just something about this video (and song!) that always perks me up!  partly its because the girl is totally adorable—she’s actress samaire armstrong…and the guy (jason adelman) reminds me of tobey maguire as peter parker/spiderman (who i am in LOVE with! hahah! [peter parker, not tobey!]  ive always loved nice nerdy guys!).  they are so cute together! hehe! ;)

i also love this vid because it portays the daily grind in a humorous and somewhat realistic fashion (i esp love the doodling!), but the little “love” story weaved into it just gives me the warm fuzzies (and i’m not like that too often! hehe.).  

and…the song itself is one of those ones i wanna play loud and roll down my windows as i drive down a curvy country road… 

okay so call me a cheeseball, but just watch the video!

if you’re havin a bad day, i hope this cheers ya up a little :)

enjoy the weekend!!

Bad Day by Daniel Powter.

Where is the moment when needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Tell me your blue skies fade to grey
Tell me your passions gone away
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

Your standing in line just to hit a new low
Your faking a smile with a coffee to go
Tell me your life’s been way off line
You’re falling to pieces every time
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

(chorus)
Cause you had a bad day, you’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know, you tell me don’t lie
You work on a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day, the camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day…you had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don’t need no carryin’ on…

(chorus)

(bridge)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be
Well all that strong, and I’m not wrong…(chorus)
 



Wednesday, April 9, 2008

reality tv and weight loss--revisited

happy hump day! hehe :)

back at the end of december, after watching my first season ever of The Biggest Loser, i was very moved.

i wrote a post called reality tv and weight loss.  i urge you to read it if you havent!  it will help you see where i’m comin from in my blabblings of this post ;)

this season’s run of TBL: Couples has sparred a lot of commentary across the blogosphere.  from annoyed fans complaining about the cheesey product endorsements to vehement put-downs about certain contestants, to frustrating and unfair excessive twists and turns in the game—there’s been a little bit of everything said about this season.

***WARNING!!  POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT!!!***

after last night’s episode, we’re down to the final 4.  two men and two women, and btw, a woman has never won TBL.  i’m definitely routing for one of the women to win! =D

okay so…to get to my point of this post ;)  even tho this was only my second season watching, it seemed to me in particular many of the contestants had break-throughs as far as life-defining and changing moments.  for me personally, THAT is what attracts me to this show. 

all the drama between contestants, or the oh-so-exciting ways to utilize Extra Sugar-Free Gum or the drill-sergeantry coming from the trainers isnt what makes me glued to the toob here. hehe. ;) 

since 2008 has started, i myself have had a few life-defining moments with my health and weight loss.  and altho many people have complained about Mark (one of the contestants) and all his crying and blubbering—i have to cut the poor guy some slack because this year has also been the same for me!  

sure, there were points where i was just like, GEEZZZ dude, calm down!!!  especially when he and his brother, Jay, were separated a few times by eliminations.  his emotions ran so high and it was apparent he was just bubbling over with issues he’s stuffed down for a long time.  and obviously, he didnt cry constantly—it just appeared that way thanks to the editing team!

i cant imagine what it would be like to go through a drastic physical change like that in such a short amount of time.  people who are overweight harbor so many issues that are attached to every freakin single pound they’ve packed on.  i know this—i am one of them.  sometimes it takes months, even years, for us to figure out there’s a reason why those pounds are there, and it’s not just because we overeat or are lazy!

for every bite of food and drink of pop or alcohol we take that we physically dont need (and mentally we are reliant on that moment of pleasure)…and every joke we cackle about regarding how fat and jolly we are…there’s a stab of pain in our hearts and souls that’s a disappointment to who we’ve become…and a disillusionment to who we REALLY are.

over the years i’ve made buku excuses for so long to not take better care of myself.  it was so much easier to float through life, getting heavier and heavier, and having my family and friends see me as a woman who’s had a hard time and “you have to feel sorry for her. she’s had it rough.” 

yes, poor me.  POOR ME THAT i never mustered the strength to overcome it!  where have i been??!?  

i’ve sat around dooming myself to the same physical ailments and diseases that have slowly killed my family members or have taken away their quality of life.  i’ve sat around LITERALLY MINUTE-TO-MINUTE worrying about these things—all the while i’ve been statistically healthy, just overweight—and in the process of all that worrying i’ve developed panic attacks, nutritional deficiencies, a liver packed full of toxins from all my fast food fixes and nearly a whole other person’s worth of weight (and mental burden) attached to my short little body.

somehow doing all that to myself was easier than finding the time to exercise, putting to good use all my knowledge of nutrition and food, and practicing what i preach…

…or was it?

fortunately in the last year i’ve been inspired by countless people, events, books, tv shows and lifted up by my daily prayers.   

and in the last few months i’ve felt a shift—in my health, for the better, and emotionally.  it’s beenalongtimecomin, i tell ya!!  and it’s been the most challenging hill i’ve climbed in my life…and im still trekkin along…

after finishing my 10-day spring cleanse yesterday, i’ve come to a realization that i’m not the weakling i’ve pegged myself.  no, im not supergirl but i have determination.  i have perseverance.  i have strength that God gives me freely and i have a goal and purpose i want to share with others.

as people lose weight, different things happen.  some of them find a self-confidence and pride theyve been lacking—like Kelly.  some of them find that just simply learning how to eat to live and not live to eat has helped them the most—like Roger.  others find they have more inner strength than they ever imagined, and it results in a beautiful outer strength,too—like Ali.  and lastly, some have a total transformation inside AND out, and suddenly all the numbness dissipates and the flood-gates open—like Mark.

i’d have to say i identify most closely with Mark.  until recently i never knew i stuffed so much emotional crap down and hid it with my weight.  in fact, i honestly had NO CLUE.  i would always say, “i just have bad habits.  fast food tastes good so i eat it instead.  there’s nothing emotionally bothering me.  i’m just a little defeated because i cant be consistent.  my ankles hurt and i feel tired if i try to exercise.”  blahblahblah…

but now suddenly something changed in me.  sometimes when i’m working out, if i push myself extra hard—i feel my heart beating in my ears and pounding in my chest, i taste the sweat on my lips and feel my legs burn—I CRY.  yes, I CRY!!  it’s an overwhelming sense of pride in myself, but now i believe it is also literally a purging of a stuffed-down INCORRECT opinion ive had of my own character and will.

sometimes i’ll be talking to hubby about some of my mini-goals and how i’ve done a good job that day.  then i’ll just start crying!  i feel like such a doof ball, but i cant help it! (like that one time in yoga class…)  inside my head i’ve told myself so many times “you can’t do it. just forget it!”  so now, when i reach a small goal, it’s like the most comforting HUG…an affirmation that i’m NOT a loser.  that with a little extra effort—even for a few days—wonderful things can happen! 

and NO, that ISNT cheesey…it’s true…when you have become so deflated, so consumed by your own misery, even one little teenyweeny victory is something to celebrate.  it could just be that spark that fires you up! 

i am also finding myself thinking twice when i suddenly want junk food.  no, i wont always make the right choice.  but if i become PRESENT in that moment and stop myself from blindly eating, i can connect an emotional reason to that food choice.  and many times, that food is merely a sedative to something i’m not dealing with.

 oh, isnt it so sad that simply fueling our bodies has become so laden in complication??!?  i want to change.  i WILL!!

i want people to know that even if you WANT to lose 15lb or if you NEED to lose 300lb, it doesnt matter.  it all starts in the same place—your heart.  KNOW WHO YOU ARE.  dont be afraid to let changes happen in your life—you HAVE to be a little vulnerable and get out of your comfort zone.  you HAVE to take a chance!!  get yourself up!!  stop feeling sorry for yourself.  is this who you really are?   

STOP MAKING EXCUSES.  nothing will change until YOU DO SOMETHING!  if you’re unhappy, do something that makes you happy.  it’s as simple as that—it doesnt have to be this golden moment and light from heaven!  start with every day things…THINK ABOUT IT, use your intelligence!  it’s common sense.  we’ve been so numbed that we forget how to even think.  your happiness level may not rise as quickly as you’d prefer, but the more you try, the more momentum you’ll build.

and before you know it, you’ll feel the flood-gates open and slowly you will become unburdened by all those poor choices you made in the past.  you’ll actually realize it’s all happened for a reason.  and altho you’ll stumble and fall on the way, you’ll finally be living your life instead of sitting there, eating, doing nothing, being miserable inside, being uncertain of your future and watching the here and now all slip by for nothing.

LIVING YOUR LIFE.  moving, breathing, smiling, laughing, crying, praying, thanking. 

it’s worth it.  we deserve to be happy and healthy and no one is responsible for yourself but YOU.

~josey~ 

[ if you got this far reading, THANK YOU for sticking with my novel of a brain-dump!! (((hugs!!))) ]
 



Saturday, April 5, 2008

5 things!

happy saturday! =D

time for a little fun—a meme, of course!  WI Mommy tagged me for this one.  i’ve put it off because i’ve had such a hard time coming up with all the answers. LOL.  sheesh!  i’m so indecisive sometimes ;)

First, the rules:
1. Each blogger answers the questions about themselves.
2. Then tag five people.  Make sure to let them know! :)



What I was doing 10 years ago - 1998

  1. working at a large church as secretary/retreat center coordinator
  2. gaining weight (was about 20lb from my all-time high)
  3. trying to save my unhappy marriage
  4. dealing with a painful ankle injury (then surgery in 1999)
  5. selling Mary Kay! :-O (EEP!)


Five things on my to-do list today

  1. ENJOY THE 60-degree SUNNY weather!!!
  2. put away christmas decorations piled on the extra dining room table. (oopsie!)
  3. exercise! (here’s my current plan)
  4. work with maizy on obedience training
  5. clean garage and work on picking up all the sticks/branches in the yard


Snacks I enjoy

  1. organic bittersweet dark chocolate
  2. fresh-ground PB on apple slices
  3. moose tracks ice cream! (a rare treat, tho!)
  4. raw milk cheese w/almonds and dried fruit
  5. roasted red pepper hummus & corn tortilla chips


Things I would do if I were a billionaire

  1. pay off all my debt and all my immediate family’s debt
  2. build my parents a house and buy them each the cars they want!
  3. put back money for my nieces and nephews to go to college
  4. take a vacation somewhere overseas!
  5. buy a buttload of land and build a nice home for myself—complete with my dream greenhouse!
  6. …after all that i’d donate most of the rest to charities/church

 

Five of my bad habits

  1. burping out loud in front of my hubby (he contributed that one. LOL)
  2. not keeping the litter boxes clean as often as they should
  3. talking too much
  4. worrying about “what ifs”
  5. reading too much into what other people think


Five places I have lived

  1. NE Indiana (home state)
  2. Lake MI coast in UP of Michigan
  3. Illinois (Chicago burbs)
  4. SE Wisconsin (current)
  5. …who knows where next!


Five jobs I’ve had

  1. pizza maker at pizza hut! (first job. hehe)
  2. switchboard operator (at my dad’s factory and for my college)
  3. “jack of all trades” (excluding repairing) for a mom ‘n pop appliance store and bicycle shop
  4. Customer Service Rep for a pre-employment drug testing agency
  5. Youth Educator for a Biodynamic Agriculture Institute (currently AND first college degree job!!!)

 

AND my own “5 things” additional category (just for fun!): 

What I’d like to be doing in 10 years

  1. being a parent
  2. havin some mad guitar playin skills. hehe
  3. owning a home
  4. looking back on this time in my life and being proud of my (internal!) growth
  5. having a very active lifestyle

 

i’d like to tag:

  • kelly (looking forward to your “10 years ago” and “bad habits” list! hehe!)
  • amy (cant remember if you’ve done this one—no big deal if you have :D )
  • speedcat (ohhhh what will he contort this one into…hehehe…)
  • starshine (maybe for your “F” day if you’re lacking ideas!?)
  • rolando (hmmm, very curious about your job list!)

as always, no pressure to do the meme!  only if you want…and anytime you want!  have fun :D

~jos~