Tuesday, November 7, 2006

do i always have to try to be better?

hey all :)



novembersky.jpgright now im peering out one of our front windows at the sun that's desperately trying to shine thru the hazy, cloudy autumn sky. you know its there; you can feel how the temperature outside is milder today than it has been for a while. but try to shine as it may, its full potential will remain hidden until those clouds blow away!!



i feel like the sun today. i want to shine so brightly for those who are close to me, but for some reason there's some strange haze that's slowin me down, makin me wanna stop trying to shine so brightly.



i feel like i'm not giving 100%, and i feel sorry for myself. but...i also feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself because deep down i feel like i should try harder and suck it up! so wow, how goofed up is that? it's this haze...i gotta figure out where it's comin from...



for a few years now, i have put so much mental energy into trying to be a better person--but i'm not sure what i have to show for it! now dont get me wrong, i dont think im a BAD person ;)



however, i'm not one to be complacent with just being "okay." what i have spent most of my time focusing on is becoming better PHYSICALLY. trying to improve my health, and the way i look along with it. it takes a long time to undo years of icky, bad habits. ive been reading gobs of self-help health books, revamping my diet over and over, trying all kinds of exercises and work out schedules, using online diet tools (some free, some not!), joining gyms, blahblahblah...!



but what has made me better? that i am now more educated in nutrition and fitness than the average joe schmoe? that i can lose and gain back 5-10lb in one month pretty darned easily? *LOL*



yikes, what am i doing with my time and energy here?



i think my problem is that even tho i have an ultimate goal, i dont live as tho i do.



i let my emotions, my doubts, and my fears obstruct my path. for me, being "better" is obviously going to benefit ME...but my true want is to be better so i can be better for others.



okay...but...what if the "others" love me like i am? then does my goal really have a purpose? wow, that's a lot to think about. it seems like an easy answer--but if i start to type one down, i think of something to contradict it.



it would be very unlikely for a person to go thru life, never without a long-term goal for SOMEthing. i mean, even if you dont purposely write it down or acknowledge it, we all are striving for something in our lives. peace, fitness, love, money, happiness...



so do i always have to try to be better? i guess the question should REALLY start with--what is BETTER? what in the heck does that mean? does it mean purposely focusing on myself, to give myself a better life...or does it mean focusing my energies outward, toward others? or both?



i guess i have a lot to think about. so far this post has just run around in circles...but hey, at least im thinking, right?



fortunately for me, unlike poor ol' mr. sun, i have the choice to control the things that make life seem hazy. maybe i just overthink. maybe i just need to chill out and live.



but if i float through life like a wandering autumn leaf tossing and turning thru the hazy clouds, what will i miss out on? hopefully someone reading this will understand what i mean. i mean, i cant be the only one feeling this way! *hehe*



i think for today i'll follow this advice (courtesy of sparkpeople's healthy reflections):



There is no lesson for today. You have permission to stop thinking for a moment and just enjoy yourself. Stop looking at your computer right now and go look at the world. Rediscover the natural wonders that you walk past every day. How can there possibly be that many shades of green? Let your mind be grateful for a break. Don't think, don't strain. Let the memories of loved ones remind you of your favorite times. Close your eyes and try to smell the sunshine. Listen to your heart beat in your ears. If it's raining, smile at the thought of the flowers that will soon follow. If you're surrounded by buildings, celebrate the creative genius of human beings. See the hope, the alarm, the love, the grief in faces that stream by. Thank whomever you'd like to thank for the chance to even be here. For a moment today, don't worry about being better. Just be.



maybe a little bit of NOT TRYING TO BE BETTER might actually make me better.



~jos~



Thursday, October 26, 2006

AHHHHH-CHOO!

heya folks :)



okay, let’s start with this “healthy reflection” article i got from sparkpeople.com:



Are You Neglecting Your Body?



If you crave chocolate as much as Aunt Marge does, you know that nothing else could possibly come first. Her tastes aside, food can actually be more of a foundation than a passion. To have an enriching & healthy life, fitness is a must. Good eating can be part of that fitness springboard that makes bigger things possible. The next months and years are filled with hard work that takes energy and action. If you’re starving your body, depriving it of what it needs, you’re handicapping yourself in the race for your dreams. And if you’re filling it with garbage, don’t expect much in return. This all may seem obvious, but too many people sabotage themselves by ignoring that simple fact. For so long, we’ve been hearing so many bad things about different foods, it’s almost as if food is our enemy, one that can kill us or ruin our lives. Truth is, food—good food—is the thing that makes everything else possible.




i believe in this whole-heartedly. the longer i struggle with my weight and minor health issues, the more i am convinced that what this says is true.



for example, today my allergies are acting up so badly, and it’s really frustrating me. i’ve done a little reading on natural allergy remedies and prevention in the past because i’m one of those kinds of ppl who doesnt think taking a drug to block the histamines is the answer. its a temporary fix—expensive—and unnatural, usually causing other unpleasant side-effects.



in addition, many of these drugs are fairly new; what will they say about them a century from now? i dont care if the drug companies claim they are safe—they are just out to make money IMHO (that’s another subject! hehe). we dont REALLY know the long-term effects. i mean, if poor health/diet and environment is part of the reason why my immune system is whacking out, shouldnt i be able to reverse that without drugs?



now before i go on, please dont think im totally against the medical and drug community. obviously, there are hundreds of prescription drugs out there that drastically improve peoples’ quality of life and save lives. i’m just talking about my minor allergy problem here *hehe*



however—me, like millions of other people, deal with these annoying allergies and wouldnt we all like a simple, healthy solution? honestly, deep down, i believe much of it can be reversed by adopting a healthier lifestyle, diet, and a little more attention to our environment.



and not only would this improve our allergies, but being healthier inside and out protects us from cancer, diabetes, and many other diseases. it makes so much sense!



what got me on a roll about this subject today is i decided i was going to look into getting one of those “ionic breeze” air purifiers. i figured bettering the environment i spend the most time in would be one of the quickest and easiest changes i can make toward clearing up my allergies.



(we have 4 cats and a dog, and i dont think im just allergic to them per se, but i know their hair and dander have added to my immune system overload. i never used to be allergic to ANYTHING…until about 5 years or so ago…at my unhealthiest weight and lifestyle. HMmmmm, interesting! oh, and I LOVE MY PETS so there is no way now how i would get rid of them!)



anyhoo, its much like me to just want to jump into buying something like that cause it seems like it could help out a lot and of course i want relief ASAP!



so, i went to the Sharper Image website and read up. wow! sounds like the one with the “OzoneGuard” was the best bet. the product itself gives off ozone as a by-product (which, ironically, irritates your lungs and is bad for ppl with asthma or respiratory probs), BUT the “OzoneGuard” converts the ozone into oxygen. WOW COOL!



well okay, so before i go to ebay and buy a cheap one, i figured i’d see what Consumer Reports says. im SO GLAD i did! here’s a blurb of what they say in Dec ‘05:



“Our latest tests show that the Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Professional with OzoneGuard is as ineffective as earlier versions and, unlike most room air cleaners, emits ozone as a byproduct. Based on its poor performance, we do not recommend it.”



“The bottom line: The Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Professional with OzoneGuard does little to clean the air. If you own one, try returning it for a refund. Also remember that even the best air cleaner may be a questionable investment, since there’s little medical evidence that air cleaners alone reduce the effects of indoor pollutants for those with asthma and allergies.”




they had a few lengthy articles explaining their tests, and to tell ya the truth, i was disappointed to realize that most likely “air purifers” or whatever other name you wanna call them, might do a LITTLE bit to help in some cases, but in the end will clean out your checkbook more than your living room air!! :-O i almost got duped like thousands of other desperate people out there.



SOOOO im going to continue “detoxing” our home like i have been for the last year or so. currently, we have no harsh detergents in the whole house. our traditional laundry soap, dish soap, dishwasher detergent, kitchen and bathroom cleaners, shampoos, soaps, shower gels, shave cream, toothpaste, deodorant, facial cleansers, lotions…all have been thrown out and i only have a few bottles of cleaners for surfaces and floors—my preferred brand is Method from Target. i also use their brand of laundry and dishwasher detergent. not only are their products awesome with no harsh detergents, they are eco-friendly (as is the company) which is important to me.



all the other stuff mentioned has been replaced with products that are paraben and sodium laurel/laureth sulfate free. Burt’s Bees and Tom’s of Maine are excellent and affordable brands for that stuff. i can now even get my Tom’s of Maine toothpaste at Walmart for cheap! yay!



once the holidays are over, i’m gonna focus on my diet. right now im actually putting into play a good plan for healthier eating in general—and in doing so, i lost about 5lb so far this month! YAY!!!



but, i dont want to stress myself out during the holidays trying to eliminate all refined sugars or something *hehe* that would just be insane! *LOL* im sure i will update you on all that once i devise my plan of action :D



whew okay!! enough of the babbling! its lunchtime *hehe* if anyone out there has their own natural allergy solutions or you just have an opinion to share, id love to hear it :)



enjoy the weekend!



~jos~



p.s. i guess i kinda got off-track from that mini-article at the beginning of the blog—but i have more to say on that so im sure i will eventually! hehe!




Wednesday, October 4, 2006

a new balance :)

newbalance.jpg


hiya everyone! :)



yep, its meeee, im baaaack, after months of not writing again—even after i said i’d be writing all the time! you know how it goes. life just gets all crazy on us and we re-prioritize. i had a great summer—hopefully you did, too! =D



welp, guess what? i’m back in the blogging-about-my-weight-loss mood :D



of course after a super inconsistent exercise and food summer, i lost a few pounds but it came back. im still hovering around 216-218ish. so well at the end of july we got a puppy (golden retriever!) and i swore i’d lose weight by walking the dog!!



well, we dont have central air in our house and when it got really hot in august i didnt want to do ANYTHING…let alone walk the pup. so that plan went down the tubes.



then around the middle of august i decided to join Curves again. (i did it a few years ago…went for about 2-3 months and quit…) i figured hey! i need to meet some other people in town, and this is a good way to do it! so the first month on Curves i lost 5lb. WOOT!



i think i a few of those pounds were gained back, tho…but i am really feeling a motivational energy spurt for the fall. im hoping to gain some ground!



so, im still going to Curves 3xs a week, and DH and i are trying to walk the dog most every day. this is good! :)



THEN, in my attempt to somehow gather up some motivation for myself, i started a yahoo group!! actually i should say it’s just for myself…cause i LOVE to motivate other people! the name of the group—the Silly Survivors—is actually not original.



several years ago when i used eDiets, i was on a chat board support forum there. our team was called the Silly Survivors and they were THE BEST! the name was just so great, and it attracted just the right kinda people, ya know? people with a great sense of humor and who wanted to all help each other out! the name “Survivors” prolly makes you think of the TV show…but think more of we’re survivors cause we’re still hangin in there! we’re persevering!! :):)



so anyhoo, if you’re reading this and you need some encouragement and want to help others stick with their plans for getting healthier, i hope you stop in and check us out. i’m really excited about it and so far we have a GREAT buncha people!



okee, that’s all for today…and hopefully if any of my current group members are reading this, they will see that i am sparing them LOTS of blabbling on the group chat! HAHAH!!!



have a good one!



~josey~




Friday, April 14, 2006

mornin! like a cup'a tea?

rooibos.jpgg’mornin :D



have you had your mornin cup’a tea yet?



i’m enjoying mine right now!



over the last couple years i’ve really learned to not just enjoy the taste of a plain green tea or teasan, but also to savor the moment and focus on “gathering” myself while sipping it.



in the last year i started keeping tea bags at my desk and anytime i felt stressed or ticked *lol* i’d just make a cup. it feels good to cradle my hands around the warm mug and smell the earthy flavors and just forget about everyone else for a few minutes! :)



okay okay, i know that all sounds cheesey, but hey, we’ve all got our ways to get thru the day, right? ;)



i guess the other great thing about these teas is that they are so good for you. okay before i go on, i do not claim to be a tea expert! BUT everyone knows that green teas are good for ya.



my fave tea happens to be a teasan (which i believe means it isn’t a true tea leaf, but probably from a bush or something) called organic red mellow bush rooibos (numi is my fave brand). it’s described as earthy vanilla. its color is a beautiful amber and it’s comparable to green tea in antioxidants, plus it’s naturally caffiene free. the other great thing is that it’s low in tannin (bitterness), so you can steep it forever and it will always taste great. it’s good iced, too!



okay anyhoo, enough about teas!!! i guess i’ve just found a lot of comfort in them, and since im a nerd, i like to blabble about things like that *hehe* =)



welp if you’re new to my blog, you’ll notice i havent written in a while. you’ll also notice there’s been an abrupt change in subject matter.



wellll first, i havent written in forever cause a lot has been goin on around here! hubby got a great new job, i quit mine, and we moved to a diff state! now i’m lucky enough to not have to work, so i have a whole new lifestyle to chat about, and lots of time to do it! :D



the change in subject matter came about because i found that over time my conversations would have become quite redundant. anyhoo, im the kinda person who likes to blab about random things—sometimes i’ll have a theme, and sometimes the theme is multiple themes. *LOL* ;P



so what are you up to today? first, im going to take hubby’s bicycle into a shop and get it all fixed up for him. its an old 30-speed, but when he bought it, it was top of the line and he loves it. so we’re gonna get it purrin like a kitten again for him so we can go on bike rides!



i’m also heading over to a discount carpet store to find some remnants. my uncle made us an AWESOME cat tree for the 4 furry critters! its just bare wood so i’d like to get it carpeted. im thinkin multi-colored remnants so it looks funky and fun!



then this afternoon i’ll probably do a little cleaning inside and a little garden planning. it’s definitely time to get the garden plot tilled and a fence around it to keep out the rabbits! :-O



alrighty, i’m outta here for now…i’m sure you’ll hear more from me soon!!



happy friday! :)



~jos~