onna roll! (no, not a hot buttered one!)

heyhey!

i’m onna roll =D

OHYEAH.

i just had to tell ya!

if you havent visited my health journal lately, hop over there to see what i’ve been upta!  i’ll probably be posting mostly over there for the next 10 days or so :)  (click HERE to see why!) 

in the meantime, i hope you’re having a simply maahhhvelous spring.  here’s our forecast for tomorrow!

 

MUCH better than THIS just a little over a month ago!

ttfn!

~jos~
 

heartaches

march 25th, 2008.

dear diary,

i know i can tell you anything, even if i sound like an inarticulate baby.  so hear me out, okay? 

my heart hurts.  it hurts for one of the most special people in my life.  

i’m angry.  i’m empathetic.  i’m offended.  i’m guilty.

because i’m tired of being tossed to the side.

because i’ve been there before…but i’ve never gotten the chance to tell her in a loving way.

because i can’t believe she is doing what she is with no outward remorse.

because i’ve not been an active part of her life and been there when she’s needed it most and i haven’t asked God enough for his hand in her life.

the unfortunate part is that i’m not the only one.  in fact, there are more important people and feelings at stake.

when will this selfish fiasco stop??  when will the livid, angry begging of those around you be unveiled as the pleas for your love and attention that they are??  the fighting, the yelling, the namecalling, the suspicions, the misbehaving…they are all pleas…cant you see? 

no one wants to hurt her.  but no one knows how to tell her it’s okay to come back.  is she avoiding confronting her true unhappiness?  no one knows. maybe she doesnt even know.

are you lonely?  you know i’m here.  and i’m sorry, i’m so sorry i’ve let my own resentment get in the way of calling you.  it just hurts that your attention is always divided.  you know what i’m talking about.  i don’t think i ask for too much.  do you realize i’m not the only one who feels this way?  WHY do your own needs always come before everyone else’s?  yes, they do.  why do you scold me and say i make you feel badly?  maybe you should…

oh diary, i feel like such a selfish jerk!  but i dont know what to do anymore.  i’m tired of feeling angry and hurt.  i’ve been stuffing this down for a long, long time.  i want to tell her how i feel but i’m so afraid of losing her…

my intention isnt to hurt her, but to HELP her. i want to help her heal.  i want be a catalyst to help her get her life back. 

but i know this isnt really about me.  its about her.  i want her to be HAPPY and i dont care WHAT she says, she’s not.  everything in her life screams, “I’M MISERABLE!!!”  her health, her attitude, her home, her children, spouse…

so what do i do?  sit back and enable her?  let her rot her life and relationships away?  i want to go to her with my arms open wide and offer her my love, but she wont have it. 

we miss you.  even tho you are here, you are not.  please, think about what you are doing.  and dont laugh it off.  and dont get mad and defensive.  your guilt trips won’t work on me—i know you too well.   cant you just not be a martyr for once?  no one is blaming or condemning you.  we all have hard times.  we all need time to find our souls.  it’s okay, it really is.  but you’re looking in the wrong place!  listen to me, just cry on my shoulder, and you can start working through it all…it’s gonna be alright…   

 

 

DAMN life sucks.

heartaches hurt. 

we’ll get through this.  she’ll let down her ragged sail, won’t she?
 

how close were ya?

here ya go…for all you chickens you were afraid to post your answers! ;)  heehaha…and the few brave ones who did!  who, btw, were speedcat, friendinme, and kelly!

(click on the thumbnail for a closer look.) 

(click here for the original post and here for clues.) 

 

1.

maizy’s nose :)  congrats to friendinme who guessed it—right on the nose. hehe!

 

2.

luna moth marking (left wing)

 

3.

cake icing (actually this was our wedding cake topper!  and yes, it WAS good a year later! hehe.)

 

4.

toilet seat edge (and trixie!)  congrats to kelly who correctly identified this one!  too many close looks, kel? LOL!

 

thanks to all those who came by to visit and participate :D  i’ll be willing to do this once a week or a few times a month if the interest is expressed!  

thanks again, kelly, for the fun tag!! 

ttfn :)

~jos~ 

eyeball bender CLUES! :)

hey there!

thanks to steve (aka friendinme), i found out the zoomed-in picture puzzles are called eyeball benders :)  thanks, steve!!! 

now folks, i KNOW you’ve all checked them out.  i DO stalk my stats once inna while ;)  and this post has gotten buku hits!  

so…if you are being shy or you just cant figure these out…i’ll give you some clues :)  and now you have to be nice, and HUMOR ME, and post your guesses.  k?  KAY!

and if you’ve guessed already and want to change your answers, feel free. ;)  

of course there’s never any pressure with the tag.  obviously its fun when others carry it on, but i’m just here to have fun so no worries!

okay, so here’s your clues from yesterday’s post, look closely… :

#1 - is many times cold and wet.

#2 - used to be blobby and green.

#3 - protected from curious fingers by a glass dome.

#4 - you won’t want to eat off this!

 

and hmm…maybe if these are still too hard, i should consider contributing my material to Games Magazine…hahhaa…;) 

i’ll be back sunday nite to reveal the full photos!  in the meantime, have some fun and play along—let’s have some audience participation!!  id have fun doing this every week :) (and of course, i *could* make it easier. hehe.)

~josey~
 

look closely...

hi!

last week my good friend kelly tagged me with a creative meme!  now dont get me wrong, i’m a creative person.  but really i’m mostly creative in my dorky/goofy attitude than anything tangibly artsy.  hehe.  and i know creativity doesnt have to be conformed to art, but in my mushy brain lately i couldnt think of much else that i could capture in a cool way on my blog :)

ANYHOOOOoo…

here’s the meme rules:

1. Make something, anything. It doesn’t have to be complicated or artsy. Make a list, take an interesting picture, make someone’s day, make dinner, make a doodle, make fun of yourself, make a poem, make your bed (OK, that last one is lame).
2. Write a blog post about it. With pictures for extra brownie points.
3. Link to this blog and challenge six other bloggers to do the same.
   

so, here’s my challenge…have you ever seen Games Magazine?  welp, when i was younger my mom allllwaaayyys had a Games mag lyin around.  for a while i was too young to do a lot of the mindbenders in it, but there was always this one that was super fun—im not sure if it even had a name, but it was pictures of normal everyday items, but zoomed in and blown up.  ya know what im talkin about? :)

i decided i’d give it a try!  these are things around our house, and the photos were taken at all different times of the year.  take your guesses and post them in the comments.  i’ll give you til the end of the weekend to figure them out! hehe!

1. 
   
2. 
3. 
4. 

 

and i tag the first 6 people who comment and have a blog! (so dont be shy! hehe) (oh and except kelly, of course!)

~josey~
 

ADDENDUM:  okay im changing my mind. i have a feeling that way of tagging will deter people from commenting HAHA. ;)  so…i tag the first 6 people who say in their comment they want to do the meme :)  how’s that? LOL!
 

no more excuses!

happy monday :)

and st. patty’s day!  

welp, lately on my health journal i’ve been yappin about how i’m tryin to reach a certain weight loss goal.  (specifically, the ever-8freakinmonth-elusive 200lb mark!)  i have a lot of “reasons” (excuses?) why i havent fulfilled that goal and mainly they are health-related obstacles.  

but really, is that what has slowed me down the most?

probably not. (i hate being honest with myself. dangit!)

for some reason, the more i fail to succeed the more i blame it on something “out of my control.”  but honestly, how out of my control is healing my endometriosis/reducing pain and balancing my hormones?  hmm.  how out of my control is dealing with my foot/ankle issues so im not in pain all the time?  isnt that what my journey to better health is all about—taking control of those obstacles?

i also keep telling myself i need to be more kind and gentle to my psyche and stop beating myself up when i fall short because it ends up starting a vicious cycle.  and while that IS true, i also need to be brutally honest and ask myself—have i REALLY tried as hard as i could?  have i given it my all?  or have i put forth just a few weeks of consistency and then let the proverbial “cut off” time for my motivation take hold just so i can be lazy again?

i’m thinking the latter. :\


sparkpeople postlast week i read this post (left) on sparkpeople.  while it’s not a fancyschmancy speech, it cuts thru the crap and excuses.  it’s something i needed to hear at this juncture and i thought i’d share!  i decided to give you a screenshot of the post so that way if you decide you want to be part of sparkpeople, you can connect with the author if you’d like :) 

 

 

so wow, what did you think?  definitely some points that made smoke come out my ears. LOL.  at one time or another, every single one of these excuses is ME, whining. haha. (in addition to who knows how many more…) 

i dont think i even need to expand on her explanations.  i’m getting to the point where it’s simply cut and dry—either do it, or dont!  get healthier, or dont!  PERIOD.  i’m tired of swimming in excuses!

even if losing weight or improving your health isnt high on your priority list, what is?  and what excuses do you keep using that’re holding you back because it’s more comfortable there?  think…spiritual time, family time, time spent doing something helping others…

i hope this gave you something to chew on, too!

AND…what are you going to do about it? 

~josey~ 
 

leavin it all behind

hey all!

this week hubby and i took an old buddy of his (mark) and his good friend (elena) out to dinner.  they are both unemployed and homeless…

…because they quit their jobs to travel together the rest of the year!

tomorrow they are leaving the country and will be staying in barcelona, spain for a few days, then taking a train to montpelier, france, where they will take residence for the next three months.  they dont really have a formal itinerary—so it will be a true adventure!

after three months, currently the plan is for mark to travel in africa. (everyone—especially his family—is trying to convince him otherwise. LOL.)  elena plans to travel europe—including biking in the swiss alps (i think?  SOME mountains! hehe) and visiting her family in romania. 

then around christmastime, they’ll meet back up here in WI and start to integrate themselves back into normal society. hehe.     

it was a blast hearing how they’ve prepared for the trip and what their expectations are.  but out of all the things they told us, i think what i was most surprised about is that in france, a bottle of wine is cheaper to buy than a bottle of water!  hahaha!! ;) 

they’ve both started their own travel blogs and i encourage you to stop by!  elena’s adventures captures the travel experience from the vantage point of someone who just takes it all in.  and mark’s 2008 travels chronicles all the important—and sometimes funny—little details and nuances of taking such a big plunge in life!

quitting my job and leaving everything behind for nearly a year would be something i’m not sure i’d ever do.  but i’ll live vicariously thru them. ;) hehe.  for now at least…i guess ya just never know! 

i think they are very fortunate (and brave. or crazy? hehe!) to be able to do this!  i wish them the safest travels and adventures they will treasure for a lifetime.  

au revoir, mark and elena! have a great time!!

~josey~