hello, december!

YAY, its over!!! (NaBloPoMo)

no time to blog…cause…MY FINGERTIPS ARE RAW!!!

have an awesome friday!! 

~jos~
 

christmas gift tag -- to: the world, from: me

What are the five gifts you would buy

for yourself this Christmas,

if you had unlimited income??

wow!  well, of course my first thought is that if i had unlimited income i’d want to continually give it away to those in need, starting with my own family and friends.  and of course i’d want to give it away to my blogging buddies, too, but i dont know them well enough yet to know what they’d realllly really want from Santa. ;) hehe! 

soooo, i think i’ll stick with the original meme and tag a few random peeps who’ve visited my site recently!  am i allowed to do that? hahah!  well, surprise!!  ya never know what you might get for stoppin by. hehe. :D

OKAY. CUT!!  take two…

i wrote this yesterday, to post for today…but, as i was out running errands this morning i heard a song on the radio i havent heard in years.  it touched me the same way it did the very first time i heard it (1992 i believe, the year i grad from high school…), and  i just knew i had to use it for this meme. 

 

being the sappy, sentimental, dreamy-dreamerton that i am. 

 

now remember, esp you youngens ;)  that this superdoopercheesey vid was shot probably circa 1992.  so, if you cant take the cheesiness (cause i almost cant! LOL!) just close your eyes and listen to the song.  this version will always be my fave, even tho there’s many other good ones out there.

Amy Grant, Grown-Up Christmas List.  From Home for Christmas, 1992.

thanks to, of course, rolando for tagging me :)

 

301 days til my birthday

thanks to rolando for taggin me with this fun stuff!

what do to:

• Pick your birth month.
• Bold the 5-10 traits that best apply to you.
• Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months.
• Tag 12 people from your friends list. (i dont have that many friends yet! LOL.)
  

i'm passing it on to the following people, because i'd like to know a little more about them!

i hope so:  hope this helps ya get the rest of the way thru NaBloPoMo!  i think you'll like this one :)

amy:  i just cant wait to see what traits you pick :)

starshine:  you're such an interesting person with a fascinating career (to me!).  i hope you enjoy this meme! 

intrepid:  i'm sure ya need something fun to do! hehe =D

MY BIRTH MONTH IS...

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

let me just clarify that i decided to choose "attractive" only because i DONT think im UGLY! LOL!!  i am usually told im "cute." *SIGH*  *teehee*  (its just cause im short and have chipmunk cheeks. LOL!!)  there were a few other things that actually described me in that list, but i picked the 10 that were the most prominent!  i was surprised at how accurate it was.

am i the only one that feels somewhat narcissistic doing memes like this? HEHE!  i mean, its fun for me, dont get me wrong!  hopefully everyone else out there finds it interesting to learn stuff like that about others.  i know i like reading everyone else's!  (i guess you have to be somewhat narcissistic to be a blogger anyhoo, right? hehe.)

here's some more interesting stuff about august...

my fave is "National Psoriasis Awareness Month." ROTFL!!!  i swear, they have months for EVERYthing. :P

here's the full year for those who got tagged.  how about the rest of you--which ones describe you?

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
 

see ya, ebenezer!

 

the last several years i've found myself really dreading the holidays, especially christmas. it's all i can do to choke through thanksgiving knowing that "black friday" is looming. i've felt like a scrooge--dont wanna put up lights or the tree or any decorations, HATE shopping, sooo sick of christmas everything (including christmas music!) coming out wayyy before thanksgiving.  my goodness i dont even want to watch my fave old christmas cartoons--the grinch and rudolph!  :-O  i could go on and on!!

to be right up front--i've just gotten sick of the shallow commercialism. that's it in a nutshell, but its way more complicated than that.

we all celebrate christmas for different reasons, in different ways. for some, its shopping and finding that perfect gift for a loved one that was a great bargain!! woot! feels good to save money and still get a special gift. for others, its traveling and seeing family or friends you only get to see once a year and having a christmas feast like no other. some people get really into all the decorating--stuff in the yard, multiple trees in the house, greenery and poinsettias in every room! and others call it the birthday of their Savior, Jesus.

there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of those reasons. but when you yourself feel empty, like that spark of wonder, excitement and joy of the season is gone, then you begin to contemplate in your scrooged-up brain--what is the meaning of christmas to me?? what is the POINT?? do i really even care?

well at least that's how i'm feeling.

every scrooge has a reason to NOT enjoy celebrating christmas--painful reminders of lost loved ones or sour relationships, the stress of all the hustle and bustle, dreading weight gain and stressing about our diets, not enough money to spend (or spending too much), overloaded at work, running the kids around for this and that, and just plain ole burn-out...blahblahblah. 

so, i've decided this year i will be a scrooge no more! with all the negativity i've drummed up for myself in 2007 surrounding my endometriosis, feeling physically terrible, being emotionally whacked out, and struggling with my weight i definitely need to end this year on a positive note.

plus, i miss the cheery, bubbly, silly-go-lucky old me. where'd she go?

now dont get me wrong, finding a reason to be cheery and festive--especially this year--is like pulling teeth for me! i just wanna be grumbly and hermity and get by doing the least possible. but truthfully, deep down, i WANT to be happy this christmas.  i'm not looking for a polly-anna holiday, but i secretly want to get lost in the warmfuzzy feelings of season.

but i want to do it for the right reasons. MY right reasons.

so i said to myself, "self, what are your RIGHT reasons for celebrating christmas?" and my self said:

1. to celebrate Jesus' birth
2. to do something for those in need
   
3. to spend time with my family
   

okay, well that was easy. so why do i still feel like little miss crabby butt?

well first, its because i'm still not going to church. i've been lazy and picky and we just havent found one to stick with. now, i've said before that i dont believe going to church is gonna get me to heaven! i think its good to look at it as a maintenance thing--you know, like when you wake up in the morning and your bad breath reminds you to brush your teeth. LOL! kinda the same thing, ya know? ;)

i miss being surrounded by stories of Jesus' birth, the little kids singing Silent Night, the skits and the christmas eve services. since i am currently not a part of a church family, now i'm lacking in the spiritual meaningfulness department of the season.  (i'm sparing you pages and pages of writing about this spiritual stuff.  hehe.  for now.)

second, most of us focus on giving an overabundance of special, thoughtful gifts to our friends and family. while i DO enjoy giving, i DONT enjoy seeing my gift tossed in a pile and probably being forgotten by new years. and i hate the fact that i cant even remember who got me what last year--obviously i'm getting more gifts than i need or deserve! and what about the kids and their heaps of toys that have to be put away and rotated because they have so many?? i wont even go there...

when i was in college, each year our floor in the dorm gathered together and gave food, clothes, and toys through a local organization that supported families that were truly in need.  i will never forget the tingly feeling of pure joy that permeated my heart as we bought, wrapped and delivered the care packages.  ahhh, how i miss that feeling!!!  it made me cry to know those people knew they could never repay our kindness tangibly.  but i know they paid it forward in love and gratefulness, which to me is the stuff that changes the world.  simple human kindness.  

and lastly (but not leastly! LOL), time with my side of the family has just gotten stale.  its nothing they do wrong--its my expectations and selfish childishness that ruins it for me.  this is very hard for me to admit.  my family is not perfect (whose is? hehe).  we dont have the "all american" ideal holiday with special traditions, lavish gifts, cheesey smiles and turtle-neck sweaters.  not that that's what i want!  but sometimes i long for more meaning than pigging out and wasting a lot of wrapping paper, ya know?

see, here's my quintessential problem.  in my scroogy brain, i'm thinking about how this certain family member always says this, and that certain family member always expects that, and how we all need to do this, and why cant we just learn to do that...so, while all that's going on on the inside, my outside is like "HUH?"  and there's no connection to any good vibes that might be floating around.  i'm too busy building the wall!!  there's no osmosis whatsoever. LOL.  just me, being there, thinking too much, eating loads to ease the frustration, walking around like a robot...

so i need to re-tie the ties that bind.  what would that take for me?  well, knowing we all get along--that's a PLUS.  my family actually WANTS to see me, i am lucky!  okay well what about deeper stuff...the binding stuff...hmmmm...

my parents are proud of me even tho they dont say it and i need to hear it (because well that's something im working on).  my sister loves me and looks up to me cause im her big sister (and we are stinkin funny together. LOL!).  my niece and nephew think i'm a cool aunt and enjoy spending time with me, and hopefully i am a good role model.

WHOA. WAIT.  why is this all of the sudden about me?  why is it necessary for ME to be stroked and put on a pedestal in order to enjoy time with my family??

GAH!  another revelation.  boy, this post is never gonna end ;) teehee.  i'll think on this and elaborate at a later time.

for now, hmmm well...i think ive helped myself understand what i need to do to de-scrooge.  in keeping with my love of list-making, before the end of the year, i'm going to:

1. start going to church and attend a christmas eve service
2. give my finances AND time to a local charity
3. SHOW my family WHY i love them so much, not just how much...this isnt about me.

so, maybe this list may seem a bit scanty and without deep thought, but its not.  ive gotta start somewhere, right?  i want to be happy and spread a positive, loving attitude this holiday...and i want it to last. :)  baby steps!

if you're struggling with this, too, i encourage you to take a look inside yourself.  think about it--do you realllly wanna drown your pathetic sorrow in that miserable attitude?  its not that things will be perfect this year if you do--or next year, or the next.  maybe you need some time to heal.  or, maybe you just need to take some immediate action--like getting back into the REAL world, away from work and maybe even the virtual world.  i know this all too well. 

and dangit, if i'm gonna work on it someone else has to, too. hehe. ;)  cause the world sure as heck doesnt need any more scrooges.  we can do a lot for this world by changing jussstttt a little.

spiritual meaningfulness.  human kindness.  the ties that bind. 

*happy relieved but-i-still-need-to-think-about-this sigh* 

~josey~   

 

i wanna be in ONEderland by 2008!

happy monday, folks :)

i believe my poor, nutritionally abused body is having chocolate cupcake/pumpkin pie with whipped cream/mashed potatoes/dressing withdrawal today.  i feel like crap!  headache, body aches, acid reflux, general malaise...bleh.

this is what usually happens after i've eaten "irresponsibly" for more than a few days in a row. *hehe*  i'm positive im not getting the flu or a cold; i havent had one in over two years!  i actually ate some HEALTHY food last nite and today, so now my body is ticked-off and rebelling cause IT WANTS JUNK.

fortunately, last nite i also planned out our menu for the whole week--every single meal.  its been rough sticking with it today, because im a little grumpy and wanting sugary/carby junk.  i usually give myself a "transition day,"  but i have to stick it out!  i'm tired of letting myself slack.  just a few more days or less, and i'll feel normal and energetic again.

my weigh-in this morning was 208.6! EEEEEP!  i suppose i'm not toooo shocked, but man.  what a big ole dork i am for going nutto with the food over the holiday.  i have a goal to lose 10lb by the end of the year.  i will be sooooooo happy if i do!  no wait...i'll be sooooooo happy WHEN I DO!! 

i wont even go on a tirade on how im such an idiot and i could have been under 200 and well below over the summer.  i'm just too tired to type that much right now ;)  hehe.  i suppose the best thing i can do is to keep focusing on the positive and making good food choices and getting in my exercise!

here's my plan for the next several weeks:

• yoga 3+ times/week
• cardio 4+ times/week
• strength training 2-3 times/week
• continue incorporating my blood type dietary changes
• avoid refined carbs and fast food!!

AND most importantly...loving myself and being kind and patient with myself.  even tho i havent lost tons this year, i know i would have GAINED had i not stopped my self-trash-talkin-train-of-thought as much as i have.  stinkin thinkin has no place in a healthy relationship with ones self!    

i should be proud that i have at least maintained most of what i've lost despite the physical and emotional things i've had to deal with this year.  i'm sure the hormonal imbalances (esp thyroid) have thwarted even my best efforts so i cant completely say it was a total lack of motivation.  its just soo hard to give yourself ANY credit when you've failed so many times at something you want SOOO BADLY.

okay!  enuff rambling for now...;)  time to go rest for a while and i will see you all back here tomorry!

enjoy your monday!!

~josey~ 

 

do you see what i see?

i'm back already! hehe ;)

last week, rolando tagged me with this fun meme -- PhotoShow: 100 Meters! 

the object is to post four or more photos of things you see within 100 meters (or 328 feet, 1 inch...hehehe) of your home.

i'm sad it had to be about 20 degrees outside today, cause i'd have gone a little farther away from our property to take pix! ;)  plus, being nearly winter, there's not much but a lot of drab outside.  but let's see what i found...

 

an old birdhouse hanging in one of our fir trees. i love it, cause it looks like a little house on the prairie wagon! i should probably take it down and somehow clean it out.

 

a calendula in my herb garden. somehow, it's still fighting even near the end of november! we even had a light snow last week. tough little guy!!

 

we live right next to a cemetery (its not as creepy as it sounds!). there's a path from our yard into part of the cemetery, and this is the first grave i see every time we go for a walk. i always say a prayer for this little boy's family. he would have been 24 this year.

 

i'm looking up into our hawthorne tree. if you look closely, you can see its HUGE thorns! (up to 4 inches or so!) i love watching the chipmunks, squirrels and birds run through the branches like it's a piece of cake. plus, in the summer it has small, bright green leaves and tiny white flowers that smell heavenly.

 

there's a 4-car garage on our property that is rented out for storage. i'd love to see this old car in action!! 

 

i chose to tag a few folks who i think might capture our attention through their perspective!

• J.D. of The Uneasy Supplicant
  
• Beenzzz of Photo-Stealthative
• Erin of Sights and Ramblings
• Sam of Bits to Remember
  

 

i’ve been tagged! what do i do?

• take photos up to 100 meters from your place
• add your name to the original list linking to the post you’ve created
• tag as many friends as you like!

 

PhotoShow: 100 Meters

1. Andy Bailey of FiddyP
2. Lalla-Mira of Lalla-Mira.com
3. Opal Tribble of VeganMomma.com
4. Pelf of Pelf-ism is contagious
5. Mike of Mike’s Photo Blog and Exit78
6. Dan of dcrBlogs
7. Rolando of R Playground
8. josey of stayin silly, livin lucky
   

 

flip-flopping

wow, a lot has happened this week...the holiday itself ruled my schedule!  but, i also semi-plunged my hand back into some writing that i havent done in sooo longgg...i talked to God a whole lotta heaps about life and friendships...i went wayyyyy off my health-focused path...it snowed...LOL...;)

the last 7 days flew by so quickly.  so what was my simplest pleasure?

strangely enough, it was changing around our tv room! :-O

i'm one of those crazy people who is always changing around my rooms anyhoo. hehe.  even funnier, hubby is the same way!  so we just have a blast rearranging stuff all the time. LOL!  im sure our families think we're nuts.  (and we are. hehe.)

this is the room we changed around--we basically flip-flopped it.  it was perfect for watching football on thanksgiving and toasty-ing up with the fireplace after dinner!!  (can anyone say NAP TIME? hehe!  two sections of the couch recline, too...ahhh :D )  plus, the hugemongous window gives a wonderful view of our tons of fall leaves, and once we get snow that stays, it'll be a pretty sight!

 

and of course, this room is the pets' favorite "big screen tv." LOL!  it's definitely my fave room, especially during winter because it's the brightest room in the house. :)

enjoy your sunday, and hope you are all recuperating after the holiday!

~josey~