good morning :)
well geesh, its monday again already. but ya know what--im kinda excited! now before you think im some sort of freak since im glad its monday, let me tell you why!
okay...well...its a little anti-climactic, but im glad because its the last week of the month and i am going to try really hard this week to stick to my guns with food and exercise. my hormonal issues last week, i believe, are a direct result of all the crap i'd been eating. sometimes i hate WI...bombarded by all this friggin frozen custard that is SO ADDICTING!! heheh!! durn you, Culver's!!!
so, this week i am not going to tell myself "no, you cant have that" but instead, "oooohh you should eat THAT!" *points to yummy fresh nutritious organic fruits and veggies*
normally i dont go to yoga on mondays, but this morning im going! after the crappy last week ive had, i really need it today. one of the great things about yoga is how it cleanses your body...AND mind. i always feel so much better when i go and really focus on perfecting the poses and breathing.
strangely enough, when you do the breathing correctly, you almost forget about the little aches and pains of balancing and even more strangely, its EASIER to balance. its like the karate kid or something *LOL* ;) you just totally blank everything else out. its so good for my mood; it gives everything a rest from the normal daily trains of thought and rejuvenates me!
now remember, im definitely not a yoga-bodied-looking-gal :D (did that make sense? LOL) so if you're overweight and think you cant do it, YES YOU CAN! i weigh over 200lb and if i can do it, anyone can at some level. of course your size and fitness level will determine what limitations you have, but that's okay. doing anything that's good for your body and mind is...well, good for you! hehe!!
so if you're not a strenuous exercise person like me, i recommend giving it a try! go to a class if you can, tho. its much much much better than a video, especially if you're a newb like me. having someone there to help with your form is really important.
and dont worry, im finding that yoga class isnt like other exercising where people are looking around and comparing themselves. people do yoga for a lot more reasons than looking good!!!
for the last several months i've been using a website called the World's Healthiest Foods and it is awesome! last week i got the book the site author put out. its amazing. i am finding out things about certain foods that i never knew!
did you know that romaine lettuce is one of the healthiest lettuces out there? i mean, knew that it was better for you than iceberg ;) but seriously, its a great source of folic acid, vits A, K, & C and some trace minerals that are hard to find in other foods.
heck, even potatoes (dont cringe, low-carbers! hehe!) are great for you in moderation...they have lots of B6, C, fiber and potassium. steam some up with some olive oil and garlic, and you have a super-healthy, super-yummy side dish!! okay okay, i'll stop talking about food--its making me hungry! hehe!
i should prolly head out...i need to get to yoga class :) i hope you all plan to have a healthy, active week and are enjoying all the awesome and delicious fruits and veggies that are now in season! (can anyone say spinach and strawberries?? YUM!)
talk to you soon!
~josey~
Monday, June 25, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
crying over chocolate cake
hey :)
well despite the fact that the weather is simply gorgeous here today, i am down and out! i had a long day yesterday driving and visiting a friend...5 hours total driving and a 5 hour visit. and it was stinkin hot here (AND there), and boy i tell ya, i just dont do well in heat and humidity these days. it zaps the heck out of me and makes me grouchy! i hate it! i feel like sucha wuss *LOL*
(before i go on, yes, i am admitting i am having a sucky day! i hate doing that, cause i dont want to drag anyone down with me...but, hey, im human, and this is my journey. and who knows, maybe your day isnt as bad as mine and reading this will actually cheer you up and make you glad for your not-so-bad day!! LOL!)
i slept pretty well, and i woke up early because i wanted to try a pilates class before yoga. last week, some of the ladies in yoga class convinced me to try the pilates because they do it, too. i was like dang, 2 hours of exercise!! *LOL* i am JUST now getting to the point where yoga doesnt totally kick my butt, but they said, "oh just try it! we have such a good time, and we talk and cut it up quite a bit!" which is much diff than the yoga class, where we are pretty quiet and serious (with the few occasional outbursts of laughter or jokes about a pose hehe).
so anyhoo, even tho when i woke up this morning i was pretty tired, i showered up and headed out to be at pilates at 7am.
on the way there, i ate half an apple, some almonds, and a little raw milk cheese. i figured that would give me a little energy to get thru it all. normally i dont eat before yoga, maybe just have some green tea and im just fine.
well, i got to class and got all set up with a mat, stability ball, little ball, stretchy band and the stretchies with handles. i've done a little pilates with a video before, so most of what we did today wasnt very new to me, but it definitely was hard! my whole body just felt so wimped out. i didnt have any endurance whatsoever. it made me feel very frustrated inside and i suddenly didnt want to be there. i just wanted to run out to the car and cry!
but see, this is the thing--ever since my endometriosis has presented itself, i get like that, all emotional and stuff and inside i just feel so out of control. im pretty sure it is all hormonal because i really had no reason to be so upset! and all the ladies in the class were chitchatting loudly during the whole hour, blahblahblah and it was annoying me *LOL* (can we say grumpybutt??)
deepdeep down i really wanted to try and focus on the breathing and motions, but i just couldnt. and all i could think of is after that i had another hour of "torture" in yoga...
i know i could have just skipped out of yoga, but usually it really lifts my spirits and helps me focus. so i forced myself to go. i set up my mat and got my blocks and towels. they keep the room dimly lit so its usually very relaxing.
but instead today, it was crazy! one of the old guys (whom i actually really do like) brought in some chocolate cake!! :-O
he won it from a special little bakery in town and it was super fancy. i wasnt going to have any, but then something in my irrational brain clicked and told me it would make me feel better. you'd think most of us would have waited until afterward, but everyone was so excited about chocolate that we all had a small sliver BEFORE class. eep!!
well it made me feel better for the 1 minute it took me to eat it, but after that i suddenly felt like crying!! (i cant help but think of Tom Hanks' line in A League of Their Own..."...CRYING? there's no crying in baseball!!" :D its just the typical tom hanks intense holler, soooo funny...)
then i KNEW it was hormones. i mean, i just ate chocolate cake, i shouldnt want to cry! HAHAH!!
so pathetically, the whole next hour was well, pathetic. i really didnt do any of the poses fully except for triangle pose and pigeon. i couldnt even hold my arms up for very long in warrior and yoga chair. UGH!! and all the while i was getting madder at myself and every time i went to down dog i cried. isnt this just crazy!?! after class usually i stick around and blab but today i just got out of there. as soon as i got in the car i cried again and cried half the way home.
now im sitting here venting to you, you poor people, reading my sob story! haha!!
i just ate a very unhealthy dose of transfats from our good buddy mcd's. every fiber of my being tells me i need to QUIT eating that trash and just force good food down my gullet, even when im all hormonal and emotional.
but today, this morning, i just couldnt. i need someone to tell me its okay to screw up and feel crappy some days. i need someone to tell me im doing a great job on the days when i really do. and i also need someone to kick me in the butt when im just being plain lazy.
yes, sad to say as an adult, i really do need the "strokes" from someone else to baby me and encourage me once in a while. and that's hard for me to admit!
but i am just not finding the strength within myself lately, and its wearing me down. and most of all, i need to tell MYSELF that i am worth the extra effort, and that a year...5...10 years from now, it will all have mattered, the good days and the bad, and i will be wiser and healthier for it all. sometimes its hard to imagine the end goal, or even the half-way point of that goal.
so, now that i've vented i feel a little better, but i still feel like i wanna just curl up in a ball and cry for a while. maybe i will. then maybe i'll go outside and play with my dog or something...or go for a walk and breathe in some fresh air. who knows!
but, i do know that someday (soon hopefully) these mood swings and hormonal imbalances will be less and less, as i lose weight and eat more healthfully more often. that's what i believe, truly, and i know it will happen. im right, right? please tell me there IS a light in the MIDDLE of the tunnel!!
sometimes the journey is SO HARD and some days you just feel like nothing will ever change. i know i sound like a sad sack, and dangit, today i am. LOL!
i wont give up tho!!! i will try to pull myself together today!!
~josey~
well despite the fact that the weather is simply gorgeous here today, i am down and out! i had a long day yesterday driving and visiting a friend...5 hours total driving and a 5 hour visit. and it was stinkin hot here (AND there), and boy i tell ya, i just dont do well in heat and humidity these days. it zaps the heck out of me and makes me grouchy! i hate it! i feel like sucha wuss *LOL*
(before i go on, yes, i am admitting i am having a sucky day! i hate doing that, cause i dont want to drag anyone down with me...but, hey, im human, and this is my journey. and who knows, maybe your day isnt as bad as mine and reading this will actually cheer you up and make you glad for your not-so-bad day!! LOL!)
i slept pretty well, and i woke up early because i wanted to try a pilates class before yoga. last week, some of the ladies in yoga class convinced me to try the pilates because they do it, too. i was like dang, 2 hours of exercise!! *LOL* i am JUST now getting to the point where yoga doesnt totally kick my butt, but they said, "oh just try it! we have such a good time, and we talk and cut it up quite a bit!" which is much diff than the yoga class, where we are pretty quiet and serious (with the few occasional outbursts of laughter or jokes about a pose hehe).
so anyhoo, even tho when i woke up this morning i was pretty tired, i showered up and headed out to be at pilates at 7am.
on the way there, i ate half an apple, some almonds, and a little raw milk cheese. i figured that would give me a little energy to get thru it all. normally i dont eat before yoga, maybe just have some green tea and im just fine.
well, i got to class and got all set up with a mat, stability ball, little ball, stretchy band and the stretchies with handles. i've done a little pilates with a video before, so most of what we did today wasnt very new to me, but it definitely was hard! my whole body just felt so wimped out. i didnt have any endurance whatsoever. it made me feel very frustrated inside and i suddenly didnt want to be there. i just wanted to run out to the car and cry!
but see, this is the thing--ever since my endometriosis has presented itself, i get like that, all emotional and stuff and inside i just feel so out of control. im pretty sure it is all hormonal because i really had no reason to be so upset! and all the ladies in the class were chitchatting loudly during the whole hour, blahblahblah and it was annoying me *LOL* (can we say grumpybutt??)
deepdeep down i really wanted to try and focus on the breathing and motions, but i just couldnt. and all i could think of is after that i had another hour of "torture" in yoga...
i know i could have just skipped out of yoga, but usually it really lifts my spirits and helps me focus. so i forced myself to go. i set up my mat and got my blocks and towels. they keep the room dimly lit so its usually very relaxing.
but instead today, it was crazy! one of the old guys (whom i actually really do like) brought in some chocolate cake!! :-O
he won it from a special little bakery in town and it was super fancy. i wasnt going to have any, but then something in my irrational brain clicked and told me it would make me feel better. you'd think most of us would have waited until afterward, but everyone was so excited about chocolate that we all had a small sliver BEFORE class. eep!!
well it made me feel better for the 1 minute it took me to eat it, but after that i suddenly felt like crying!! (i cant help but think of Tom Hanks' line in A League of Their Own..."...CRYING? there's no crying in baseball!!" :D its just the typical tom hanks intense holler, soooo funny...)
then i KNEW it was hormones. i mean, i just ate chocolate cake, i shouldnt want to cry! HAHAH!!
so pathetically, the whole next hour was well, pathetic. i really didnt do any of the poses fully except for triangle pose and pigeon. i couldnt even hold my arms up for very long in warrior and yoga chair. UGH!! and all the while i was getting madder at myself and every time i went to down dog i cried. isnt this just crazy!?! after class usually i stick around and blab but today i just got out of there. as soon as i got in the car i cried again and cried half the way home.
now im sitting here venting to you, you poor people, reading my sob story! haha!!
i just ate a very unhealthy dose of transfats from our good buddy mcd's. every fiber of my being tells me i need to QUIT eating that trash and just force good food down my gullet, even when im all hormonal and emotional.
but today, this morning, i just couldnt. i need someone to tell me its okay to screw up and feel crappy some days. i need someone to tell me im doing a great job on the days when i really do. and i also need someone to kick me in the butt when im just being plain lazy.
yes, sad to say as an adult, i really do need the "strokes" from someone else to baby me and encourage me once in a while. and that's hard for me to admit!
but i am just not finding the strength within myself lately, and its wearing me down. and most of all, i need to tell MYSELF that i am worth the extra effort, and that a year...5...10 years from now, it will all have mattered, the good days and the bad, and i will be wiser and healthier for it all. sometimes its hard to imagine the end goal, or even the half-way point of that goal.
so, now that i've vented i feel a little better, but i still feel like i wanna just curl up in a ball and cry for a while. maybe i will. then maybe i'll go outside and play with my dog or something...or go for a walk and breathe in some fresh air. who knows!
but, i do know that someday (soon hopefully) these mood swings and hormonal imbalances will be less and less, as i lose weight and eat more healthfully more often. that's what i believe, truly, and i know it will happen. im right, right? please tell me there IS a light in the MIDDLE of the tunnel!!
sometimes the journey is SO HARD and some days you just feel like nothing will ever change. i know i sound like a sad sack, and dangit, today i am. LOL!
i wont give up tho!!! i will try to pull myself together today!!
~josey~
Friday, June 15, 2007
be kind to you :)
(courtesy of sparkpeople.com's Healthy Reflections)
If you met yourself, would you want to stick around and talk? Are you the kind of person others can be proud of? Hopefully you are, because that's who will be with you for your entire life. Your values and beliefs create a pretty good picture of what you want to see in the mirror. To be proud of yourself, do everything you can to make real life look like that vision. Find people that have the qualities you want and learn from them. Becoming a person you like gives you the confidence that you're someone worth being friends with. There's also a flip side to the friendship coin--you also need to cut yourself as much slack as you do your friends. You have friends because you see the good in them, not the flaws. You like them the way they are, warts and all. You enjoy their company and root for them to be happy and do their best. Look at yourself the same way. To be a good friend to yourself, accept your blemishes, while still pushing yourself to reach your full potential. Don't harp on your weaknesses. Take another look in the mirror and be kinder this time.
what an awesome reminder!! it really is a double-whammy...first, to remember to surround yourself with people you can learn from and look up to; not folks who drag you down!
and second, dont drag YOURSELF down! since my motto this year is being kinder to myself, this was perfect. even half way thru the year now, i STILL am working on the negative self-talk and learning instead of whining when i fall short of a goal. taking a more loving, accepting attitute toward others AND ourselves is a healthy way to live!!
have you talked to any old friends lately? a friend that you used to "click" with, who always made you feel great and you've just lost touch? if not, i encourage you to track one down and pick up where you left off!! rekindling that friendship might even help you find some of the traits you thought you lost over the years...to bring out that "old" self of yours. love, enjoy and nurture the friendships in your life; they are priceless!!!
have a wonderful weekend...and happy father's day!!!
~josey~
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
oatmeal bread, forgiveness, and other deep (or not-so-deep!) thoughts
good eeeeevening *lol*
so hey, this week is going great! i hope the same for you. i ate out some over the weekend but i tried to shy away from the worst--burgers and fries. and it paid off not piggin out--my weigh in yesterday showed a 2.4lb loss last week. YAY!!!
yesterday and today have been GREAT as far as food goes...and im not craving the fast food. *whew!* today i had yoga class for an hour, and then this afternoon i rode my bike around town for about an hour running errands and getting some ingredients for bread! so i got a good workout today :D
so, this bread im making...i hope it turns out! i actually didnt cheat and use my bread machine, either! i gotta freakin good upper body workout kneading this stuff...for a total of nearly 15 min! (in 2 sessions lol, but still!!) it was a flippin huge wad of dough, so i was dang tired afterward. LOL!
anyhoo, i decided that even tho my naturopath doesnt want me to eat wheat, im going to allow myself to have spelt and kamut as long as its organic. they are wheat's ancestors, per se; IMHO the better, un-messed-up versions, esp when organic! so, i am making (yep, still workin onnit...on the final rise!!) oatmeal bread!!
i used organic rolled oats, organic oat bran, and organic whole spelt flour. the recipe i found was enough to make a loaf in a pan, a free-form smaller loaf and 8 sandwich buns. im really excited! i LOVE oatmeal bread , and i am hoping this recipe is really yummilicious so i can make more and freeze it. i'll let you know how it turns out!!
okay, so one last thing i have to yack about. have you ever been in a situation in your life where you exit from someone else's life, with a lot of things unsaid? i mean, drastically removed yourself and severed the relationship completely, but have regrets and just always have this nagging feeling now that you've had time to chew on everything that you should ask for forgiveness so you can move on even tho the relationship will never be the same?
well, i have been struggling with this exact situation for a few years now. i really dont want to go into personal details, but let me just convey this core thought: whether or not the other person was at fault, whether or not you feel deep down they deserve YOUR forgiveness, whether or not you feel you should be so meek to ask for their forgiveness--THINK ABOUT IT. do you want to play tough guy and live your whole life never feeling your full humanness?
well, i asked for forgiveness and received it. i admitted my mistakes and didnt point out theirs...that's not what it was about. it was about doing the right thing in God's eyes and finishing the human heart healing process. it was such a liberating feeling to receive that blessing of forgiveness. it felt so good to admit i was selfish and less than mature at one point in my life, and then to be genuinely, completely forgiven for it.
and most importantly...after all this, i had a realization about how God forgives us. see, i had asked God's forgiveness for my mistakes in this relationship a long time ago. but i always had that less-than-forgiven feeling in my heart. when i asked this person to forgive me just recently, i thought that's what i needed to get rid of that feeling.
but it wasnt--altho yes, it was the right thing to do in this situation--what i needed was to truly believe God had forgiven me. sometimes when we look back and see stupid things we've done, its hard to believe God will say, "okay no problema, slate clean!" but he does!!
but i also believe he is pleased when we can go to the person we've wronged and admit it and ask THEIR forgiveness, as long as we can determine that it will not further hurt that person. hopefully God is clapping for me, that for once i learned something important in life.
we should see forgiveness as a gift, unconditional and finite, between both God and man, and ourselves and fellow man. its what hope and truly joyful hearts are made of.
~josey~
so hey, this week is going great! i hope the same for you. i ate out some over the weekend but i tried to shy away from the worst--burgers and fries. and it paid off not piggin out--my weigh in yesterday showed a 2.4lb loss last week. YAY!!!
yesterday and today have been GREAT as far as food goes...and im not craving the fast food. *whew!* today i had yoga class for an hour, and then this afternoon i rode my bike around town for about an hour running errands and getting some ingredients for bread! so i got a good workout today :D
so, this bread im making...i hope it turns out! i actually didnt cheat and use my bread machine, either! i gotta freakin good upper body workout kneading this stuff...for a total of nearly 15 min! (in 2 sessions lol, but still!!) it was a flippin huge wad of dough, so i was dang tired afterward. LOL!
anyhoo, i decided that even tho my naturopath doesnt want me to eat wheat, im going to allow myself to have spelt and kamut as long as its organic. they are wheat's ancestors, per se; IMHO the better, un-messed-up versions, esp when organic! so, i am making (yep, still workin onnit...on the final rise!!) oatmeal bread!!
i used organic rolled oats, organic oat bran, and organic whole spelt flour. the recipe i found was enough to make a loaf in a pan, a free-form smaller loaf and 8 sandwich buns. im really excited! i LOVE oatmeal bread , and i am hoping this recipe is really yummilicious so i can make more and freeze it. i'll let you know how it turns out!!
okay, so one last thing i have to yack about. have you ever been in a situation in your life where you exit from someone else's life, with a lot of things unsaid? i mean, drastically removed yourself and severed the relationship completely, but have regrets and just always have this nagging feeling now that you've had time to chew on everything that you should ask for forgiveness so you can move on even tho the relationship will never be the same?
well, i have been struggling with this exact situation for a few years now. i really dont want to go into personal details, but let me just convey this core thought: whether or not the other person was at fault, whether or not you feel deep down they deserve YOUR forgiveness, whether or not you feel you should be so meek to ask for their forgiveness--THINK ABOUT IT. do you want to play tough guy and live your whole life never feeling your full humanness?
well, i asked for forgiveness and received it. i admitted my mistakes and didnt point out theirs...that's not what it was about. it was about doing the right thing in God's eyes and finishing the human heart healing process. it was such a liberating feeling to receive that blessing of forgiveness. it felt so good to admit i was selfish and less than mature at one point in my life, and then to be genuinely, completely forgiven for it.
and most importantly...after all this, i had a realization about how God forgives us. see, i had asked God's forgiveness for my mistakes in this relationship a long time ago. but i always had that less-than-forgiven feeling in my heart. when i asked this person to forgive me just recently, i thought that's what i needed to get rid of that feeling.
but it wasnt--altho yes, it was the right thing to do in this situation--what i needed was to truly believe God had forgiven me. sometimes when we look back and see stupid things we've done, its hard to believe God will say, "okay no problema, slate clean!" but he does!!
but i also believe he is pleased when we can go to the person we've wronged and admit it and ask THEIR forgiveness, as long as we can determine that it will not further hurt that person. hopefully God is clapping for me, that for once i learned something important in life.
we should see forgiveness as a gift, unconditional and finite, between both God and man, and ourselves and fellow man. its what hope and truly joyful hearts are made of.
~josey~
Monday, June 4, 2007
ramblin time!
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! =)
yes, yes im still here!! i know its been a couple weeks. but im sure you can guess what i’ve been doing after reading my last post…yup, hangin out at the fast food joints! ACK!!! okay well not quite that bad, but not very good, either. i definitely didnt get under 200 during the month of may. and im DEFINITELY never going to make another promise in this blog, because i think im hard-wired to break them!! LOL!! esp when it comes to food.
welllp lets start with the good stuff :) im still hovering around 206-208. so i havent gained! even better is that i’ve been consistently active. YAY!
i’ve been going to yoga 2-3 times a week, and absosmurfly LOVELOVELOVE it. it makes me feel so strong! (and sore all the time…haha…but that will eventually go away!) and now that i’ve finally got most of the poses down, i have been more able to concentrate on the breathing. that has worked miracles on my anxiety!! and it just gives me energy and focus. i love it.
im not trying to be all new-agey-nerdy, but im serious, i wish i’d have started yoga years ago. its just an all-around good-for-you thing to do. and dont EVEN think i dont sweat my butt off doing it!! LOL! its not like little wimpy stretches for an hour. the poses take tons of balance and strength, and surprisingly ive noticed a difference in especially my upper body strength even in the last few weeks.
my teacher is awesome, and really encourages everyone in the class to modify the poses to their own comfort level and ability. she is in her 50s, and she looks GOOD. i want to look good when im in my 50s, too! heck i wanna look good NOW! haha!!
i also ended up getting a summer membership to the athletic club where the yoga class is. im doing weight training once a week, and will work up to twice a week soon. it also gives me access to any of the other classes they have—one i want to try is called Zumba. its some sort of latin dance aerobics or something. all i know is i peeked in the door and it looked fun!
im getting an okay amount of cardio just doing yoga (all that breathing is good for your heart and lungs, believe me!), and i also ride my bike occasionally, but an aerobics class once in a while might be fun!
OH and this weekend, me and the hubby got a portable basketball hoop for the driveway!! he loves shootin hoops, and even tho i totally suck at it, i have fun doing it with him *hehe* and its awesome aerobic exercise—and all i have to do is walk outside to do it. this summer i have NO EXCUSES to be sitting on my butt!! that’s for sure!!!
another thing i’ve started doing is volunteering at a local agricultural institute. its an awesome organization that promotes organic/sustainable farming and students pretty much run the gardens as part of internships or practicums. they also get volunteers to help keep things running smoothly.
that’s what i love about the little town i live in! there are tons of local farms that are organic and free-range. the ag institute also has a little market where they sell a lot of the produce and local dairy/meat. i love shopping there!
anyhoo, last week was my first week of helping out, and they had me working with a 15-year-old kid from Germany! he’s here for the summer on a practicum. he was really interesting! and somehow, i kept up with him while we hacked down plants, hauled compost and did some harvesting. i was so glad it was fairly cool out or im sure i would have wimped out! LOL! we worked from 8-noon. i’ll be doing that every week now—and i also get a huge bag of fresh produce every time for doing it! WOOHOO!
in other news, my 15-year high school class reunion is next month. LOL…yes, now you know how YOUNG i am ;) i guess i’ve never really planned on going, mostly just because i really dont feel like i’ve done much with my life.
now now, im not being a sad-sack! its just that all my old buddies have kids, which to me, really gives you so much to talk about. who wants to hear about me, one of the honor students who got a college degree and doesnt use it, and now gets to work from home a few hours a week and pretty much do whatever else i want to do with my time?? LOL!!!
and all i have to brag about is my 4 cats and dog…i do NOT want to be labeled as the freaky pet person! HAHA!! ;) even tho i love my life, im somewhat embarassed!! i know, its that old high school mentality taking over, comparing myself to others. DUMB. im sure they dont care. i just dont want it to be a bad experience, ya know? ive had enough of that lately! hehe!!
i suppose another reason i dont feel like going is that it might be super awkward for me if certain other people are there and i dont want to make them feel weerd, either. its just not been long enough i guess for me to be desperate to see a lot of my classmates. several of them have actually emailed me lately, and i love it!!! they all sound so happy and i am sooo happy for them. hopefully i’ll keep in contact with them even after the reunion time is over.
and of course i dont want people to come up to me and say, “i dont remember you…?” since i weigh about 80lb more than i did 15 years ago! LOL! im sure im not the only one, but sometimes i just dont feel like “the old me.” is that just what happens when you get older? the “old you” just fades away and you get slapped with a new, funky body and image? ROTFL!
ahhh anyhoo, enough rambling about that. i’m pretty sure i wont be going, but i guess there’s always a chance i may change my mind. i’ll let you know!
whew! welp, i guess i’ll go for now! oh and FYI, my goal for this month is once again, to attempt to find ONE-derland! (that’s under 200.) im not going to force myself into totally giving up ANYTHING, either. its all about moderation this month and continuing to be active. AND most of all, being kind to myself, inside AND out. i deserve it, dangit!!!
have an awesome day!!!!! im off to make a cup of green tea…
~jos~
yes, yes im still here!! i know its been a couple weeks. but im sure you can guess what i’ve been doing after reading my last post…yup, hangin out at the fast food joints! ACK!!! okay well not quite that bad, but not very good, either. i definitely didnt get under 200 during the month of may. and im DEFINITELY never going to make another promise in this blog, because i think im hard-wired to break them!! LOL!! esp when it comes to food.
welllp lets start with the good stuff :) im still hovering around 206-208. so i havent gained! even better is that i’ve been consistently active. YAY!
i’ve been going to yoga 2-3 times a week, and absosmurfly LOVELOVELOVE it. it makes me feel so strong! (and sore all the time…haha…but that will eventually go away!) and now that i’ve finally got most of the poses down, i have been more able to concentrate on the breathing. that has worked miracles on my anxiety!! and it just gives me energy and focus. i love it.
im not trying to be all new-agey-nerdy, but im serious, i wish i’d have started yoga years ago. its just an all-around good-for-you thing to do. and dont EVEN think i dont sweat my butt off doing it!! LOL! its not like little wimpy stretches for an hour. the poses take tons of balance and strength, and surprisingly ive noticed a difference in especially my upper body strength even in the last few weeks.
my teacher is awesome, and really encourages everyone in the class to modify the poses to their own comfort level and ability. she is in her 50s, and she looks GOOD. i want to look good when im in my 50s, too! heck i wanna look good NOW! haha!!
i also ended up getting a summer membership to the athletic club where the yoga class is. im doing weight training once a week, and will work up to twice a week soon. it also gives me access to any of the other classes they have—one i want to try is called Zumba. its some sort of latin dance aerobics or something. all i know is i peeked in the door and it looked fun!
im getting an okay amount of cardio just doing yoga (all that breathing is good for your heart and lungs, believe me!), and i also ride my bike occasionally, but an aerobics class once in a while might be fun!
OH and this weekend, me and the hubby got a portable basketball hoop for the driveway!! he loves shootin hoops, and even tho i totally suck at it, i have fun doing it with him *hehe* and its awesome aerobic exercise—and all i have to do is walk outside to do it. this summer i have NO EXCUSES to be sitting on my butt!! that’s for sure!!!
another thing i’ve started doing is volunteering at a local agricultural institute. its an awesome organization that promotes organic/sustainable farming and students pretty much run the gardens as part of internships or practicums. they also get volunteers to help keep things running smoothly.
that’s what i love about the little town i live in! there are tons of local farms that are organic and free-range. the ag institute also has a little market where they sell a lot of the produce and local dairy/meat. i love shopping there!
anyhoo, last week was my first week of helping out, and they had me working with a 15-year-old kid from Germany! he’s here for the summer on a practicum. he was really interesting! and somehow, i kept up with him while we hacked down plants, hauled compost and did some harvesting. i was so glad it was fairly cool out or im sure i would have wimped out! LOL! we worked from 8-noon. i’ll be doing that every week now—and i also get a huge bag of fresh produce every time for doing it! WOOHOO!
in other news, my 15-year high school class reunion is next month. LOL…yes, now you know how YOUNG i am ;) i guess i’ve never really planned on going, mostly just because i really dont feel like i’ve done much with my life.
now now, im not being a sad-sack! its just that all my old buddies have kids, which to me, really gives you so much to talk about. who wants to hear about me, one of the honor students who got a college degree and doesnt use it, and now gets to work from home a few hours a week and pretty much do whatever else i want to do with my time?? LOL!!!
and all i have to brag about is my 4 cats and dog…i do NOT want to be labeled as the freaky pet person! HAHA!! ;) even tho i love my life, im somewhat embarassed!! i know, its that old high school mentality taking over, comparing myself to others. DUMB. im sure they dont care. i just dont want it to be a bad experience, ya know? ive had enough of that lately! hehe!!
i suppose another reason i dont feel like going is that it might be super awkward for me if certain other people are there and i dont want to make them feel weerd, either. its just not been long enough i guess for me to be desperate to see a lot of my classmates. several of them have actually emailed me lately, and i love it!!! they all sound so happy and i am sooo happy for them. hopefully i’ll keep in contact with them even after the reunion time is over.
and of course i dont want people to come up to me and say, “i dont remember you…?” since i weigh about 80lb more than i did 15 years ago! LOL! im sure im not the only one, but sometimes i just dont feel like “the old me.” is that just what happens when you get older? the “old you” just fades away and you get slapped with a new, funky body and image? ROTFL!
ahhh anyhoo, enough rambling about that. i’m pretty sure i wont be going, but i guess there’s always a chance i may change my mind. i’ll let you know!
whew! welp, i guess i’ll go for now! oh and FYI, my goal for this month is once again, to attempt to find ONE-derland! (that’s under 200.) im not going to force myself into totally giving up ANYTHING, either. its all about moderation this month and continuing to be active. AND most of all, being kind to myself, inside AND out. i deserve it, dangit!!!
have an awesome day!!!!! im off to make a cup of green tea…
~jos~
Monday, May 14, 2007
weigh-in
good morning!
well i just thought i'd pop in and say hello *waves* i weighed in this morning and lost almost 2lb last week! YAY! so im down to about 206. im purty durned skippydippy happy about it *LOL* i worked my butt off last week in the garden and with yoga, plus i ate very very well all week. it always feels good when your body cooperates and drops a little weight when you've given it every opportunity to do so! hehe!!
i have to confess, tho, that i had fast food yesterday! :-O *hides* i know, i know!! im sucha dumbutt!! hehe!
and geez, after i was bragging all over the place friday about not having any. i am finding that the weekends are definitely the toughest that way, especially when the weather is nice and im all happy-peppy-almost hyper those emotional eating spurts pop up and i dont deal with them well!
yes, im one of those people that has emotional eating issues when im HAPPY. sad, isnt it?? hehe! that's when my good sense flies out the window, cause i'm all smiley and care-free and i dont sit and deliberate with myself about the consequences of snarfing down a cheeboogie and fries. ah well!
yesterday i think my problem was "i deserve it." we ate at the inlaws for lunch and i did SO WELL! i had bbq ribs, salad, summer veggie mix, and a very small baked potato...and skipped the bread, milk, and cheese. then dessert was strawberries on pound cake with whipped cream! EEP! but i was such a good girl and had just strawberries =D
so...i think deep in my mind i was feeling all sorry for myself and i started to almost get a little grumpy cause i wanted what i shouldnt have! so, when we left i told hubby i wanted a Culver's burger and fries. he was such a good example and said, let's just drive on by and give ourselves time to think it over. well...we did. *LOL*
we got home and ended up having a coupon for buy one meal get one free, so off we went. it was really my fault, tho. we could have had our weekly mcd's salad but i was being a brat.
ah well, fortunately i still lost a good amount of weight last week and i WILL NOT have any more fast food this week! PROMISE!
welllll, i really want to chat more but i am going to exercise! i'm going to try to start incorporating two short sessions of weight training a week into my schedule. i have a pretty good kathy smith weight training vid that has 20 min of upper body and 20 min of lower body, so i'll split that up every week for now.
i really do love doing weights and now that i am doing yoga twice a week as well, they should complement each other!
oh btw, my food has been great so far today...strawberry soygurt *hehe* with a cup of strawbs and a sprinkle of granola. a bit carby i guess, but i also took my fish oil so that evened it out a bit. plus, im off to burn some of it off RIGHT NOW!!!
happy monday!!
~jos~
well i just thought i'd pop in and say hello *waves* i weighed in this morning and lost almost 2lb last week! YAY! so im down to about 206. im purty durned skippydippy happy about it *LOL* i worked my butt off last week in the garden and with yoga, plus i ate very very well all week. it always feels good when your body cooperates and drops a little weight when you've given it every opportunity to do so! hehe!!
i have to confess, tho, that i had fast food yesterday! :-O *hides* i know, i know!! im sucha dumbutt!! hehe!
and geez, after i was bragging all over the place friday about not having any. i am finding that the weekends are definitely the toughest that way, especially when the weather is nice and im all happy-peppy-almost hyper those emotional eating spurts pop up and i dont deal with them well!
yes, im one of those people that has emotional eating issues when im HAPPY. sad, isnt it?? hehe! that's when my good sense flies out the window, cause i'm all smiley and care-free and i dont sit and deliberate with myself about the consequences of snarfing down a cheeboogie and fries. ah well!
yesterday i think my problem was "i deserve it." we ate at the inlaws for lunch and i did SO WELL! i had bbq ribs, salad, summer veggie mix, and a very small baked potato...and skipped the bread, milk, and cheese. then dessert was strawberries on pound cake with whipped cream! EEP! but i was such a good girl and had just strawberries =D
so...i think deep in my mind i was feeling all sorry for myself and i started to almost get a little grumpy cause i wanted what i shouldnt have! so, when we left i told hubby i wanted a Culver's burger and fries. he was such a good example and said, let's just drive on by and give ourselves time to think it over. well...we did. *LOL*
we got home and ended up having a coupon for buy one meal get one free, so off we went. it was really my fault, tho. we could have had our weekly mcd's salad but i was being a brat.
ah well, fortunately i still lost a good amount of weight last week and i WILL NOT have any more fast food this week! PROMISE!
welllll, i really want to chat more but i am going to exercise! i'm going to try to start incorporating two short sessions of weight training a week into my schedule. i have a pretty good kathy smith weight training vid that has 20 min of upper body and 20 min of lower body, so i'll split that up every week for now.
i really do love doing weights and now that i am doing yoga twice a week as well, they should complement each other!
oh btw, my food has been great so far today...strawberry soygurt *hehe* with a cup of strawbs and a sprinkle of granola. a bit carby i guess, but i also took my fish oil so that evened it out a bit. plus, im off to burn some of it off RIGHT NOW!!!
happy monday!!
~jos~
Friday, May 11, 2007
jes peachy :-D
happy friday morning :):)
well this mornin i am JES PEACHY! hehe! literally. well kinda! ha! our local farmer's market had the first, freshest peaches of the season and i grabbed a couple this week.
i just sliced one up and stirred it into my Stonyfield Farm O'Soy Cultured Soy, peach flavor, and a small sprinkle of a triple berry granola. YUM-O!! *LOL* i just have to say i am in heaven, cause man, that peach was just SO FRESH...and the soygurt (is that a real word? hehe!) was sooo creamy...and and and the granola, it was sooooo was crunchy and chewy...*rambles on and on about how good it was...*
and hey, i love yogurt, and i really wanted to get some probiotics into my diet since i cant have my cow's milk yogurt or kefir anymore. the O'Soy is AWESOME and i was really excited when i found it. i have to say i am pretty impressed!!
and if you're one of those peeps who's a little "eh" because yogurt is too tangy or "spoiled" tasting for you, you should try the O'Soy. its a bit milder and pretty durned creamy as i already mentioned! :D
i usually dont eat yogurts or kefirs that are flavored because of the added sugar, but these arent too bad. they arent overly sweet, which i really think ruins most yogurts. i like Stonyfield brand stuff, so i was super happy when i saw the O'Soy--especially, too, because the ingredients are almost all organic AND with no preservatives. YAY. it will be a nice breakfast option this summer with all the fresh berries and fruits!!!
anyhoo, enough obsessive food talk ;) hehe!
welllllllp, i cant believe we're almost half way thru may! and guess what? i havent had any fast food!! i think its starting to get easier for me because my brain is starting to understand that my good health is dependent on my good food choices.
strangely enough, i am actually starting to enjoy eating a lot more veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, and grains other than wheat, and i dont really miss milk at all (tho i would still down a nice cold glass if i could!!).
and another thing ive been trying to do since last fall is to eat seasonally. instead of eating salads all winter, we had more soups with hearty fall veggies and beans, and most of what we ate except fruit, was cooked. this spring, im enjoying the tender salad greens and delicate spring fruits and not cooking as much! and this summer i'll munch down on berries, cukes and spinach greens!! hehe!!
but anyhoo (hrm, more food talk...oops *grin*), i even did awesome at my parentals' last weekend. i didnt have any cookies, ice cream, or other junk food while i was there! SHOCKER! :-O
but, i did have a bit of a mini-whine-tantrum saturday evening when i was hungry and a bit munchy. i was walking back and forth between the fridge and cabinets, looking at all the stuff i couldnt eat. and what i COULD eat, i didnt want. i was whining like a brat!!
and i felt like crying, starting to feel sorry for myself and all that junk. its just hard when i go "home;" that's where i grew up and i want to eat what i grew up on. it brings back those comforting feelings!! not that i really needed comfort, except from the bashing i was doing to myself in my head!!
ANYHOO...i finally ended up having some green tea and later a small bowl of popcorn, so i did fine. the only exception for the weekend was one piece of bday cake at my niece's party. it was a cookout, and i even ate my hamburger without a bun since it's wheat. i felt like some sort of Atkin's nerd ;P but oh well, it just tasted like grilled meatloaf. *hehe*
this week has been super busy for me--i spent most of every day outside preparing and planting our veggie and herb gardens. i learned a lot doing last year's garden, so this year i vow to keep down the weeds! HEHE!
we've got cukes & pole beans on trellises, tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, brussels sprouts, spinach and a mix of salad greens planted. and in the herb garden, i have basil, cilantro, dill, tarragon, rosemary, parsley, chamomile and some annual flowers i planted from seed.
im really hoping to make this summer a great jump start to eating less--but foods that are nutritionally packed! i am starting to see how much i have missed most of my life by not eating fresh, seasonal produce. it really is super nummy!!! and its fun to grow! (AND cheaper. LOL)
hubby and i have both bumped up our activity levels this month, and im sure it will continue thru the summer. he's been riding his bike to work several times a week, for about an hour total each day. im really proud of him, cause its obviously not as convenient as driving--he has to take a change of clothes and his lunch, too. YAY HONEY!! XOXOX!
as for me, i'm still loving my hour of yoga on tuesdays and thursdays, and this week i've been sweatin my butt off outside in the gardens.
i rented a roto-tiller monday and spent a few hours tilling up our 15x20 plot. GUH! talk about SORE RIBCAGE MUSCLES for the next few days. that is one muscle that SUCKS when its sore *LOL*
i'll also ride my bike occasionally to the farmer's market so that will be a great way to get some fresh air, burn cals, AND run errands *hehe*
i have always wanted to be one of those "active" kindsa peeps--you know, ones that never really have to formally exercise, because they incorporate activity into the way they live! to me, that's the best way to enjoy it! not only do you reap the benefits of the physical activity, but at the same time you are healthy enough to enjoy the movement and surroundings or other purpose of whatever you're doing!! does that make sense?? hehe!
anyhoo, its a win-win thing, and i hope a year from now i will have accomplished what i am now envisioning :D
welp, hopefully whomever regularly reads this crazy blog is somehow inspired to make some changes for the betterment of your health! obviously im far from perfect--never will be--but i know im inspired by hearing the struggles, successes and ideas of others! so i figgered, heck, i'll share, too! plus, its just an outlet for me and my need to blab to someone about all my goofy ideas *cheesey grin*
have a superdooper weekend!! find some flowers in your yard and enjoy them today! i cut some fresh white lilacs this morning and am enjoying them here on my desk. they smell wonderful!
ttfn!!! :)
~josey~
well this mornin i am JES PEACHY! hehe! literally. well kinda! ha! our local farmer's market had the first, freshest peaches of the season and i grabbed a couple this week.
i just sliced one up and stirred it into my Stonyfield Farm O'Soy Cultured Soy, peach flavor, and a small sprinkle of a triple berry granola. YUM-O!! *LOL* i just have to say i am in heaven, cause man, that peach was just SO FRESH...and the soygurt (is that a real word? hehe!) was sooo creamy...and and and the granola, it was sooooo was crunchy and chewy...*rambles on and on about how good it was...*
and hey, i love yogurt, and i really wanted to get some probiotics into my diet since i cant have my cow's milk yogurt or kefir anymore. the O'Soy is AWESOME and i was really excited when i found it. i have to say i am pretty impressed!!
and if you're one of those peeps who's a little "eh" because yogurt is too tangy or "spoiled" tasting for you, you should try the O'Soy. its a bit milder and pretty durned creamy as i already mentioned! :D
i usually dont eat yogurts or kefirs that are flavored because of the added sugar, but these arent too bad. they arent overly sweet, which i really think ruins most yogurts. i like Stonyfield brand stuff, so i was super happy when i saw the O'Soy--especially, too, because the ingredients are almost all organic AND with no preservatives. YAY. it will be a nice breakfast option this summer with all the fresh berries and fruits!!!
anyhoo, enough obsessive food talk ;) hehe!
welllllllp, i cant believe we're almost half way thru may! and guess what? i havent had any fast food!! i think its starting to get easier for me because my brain is starting to understand that my good health is dependent on my good food choices.
strangely enough, i am actually starting to enjoy eating a lot more veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, and grains other than wheat, and i dont really miss milk at all (tho i would still down a nice cold glass if i could!!).
and another thing ive been trying to do since last fall is to eat seasonally. instead of eating salads all winter, we had more soups with hearty fall veggies and beans, and most of what we ate except fruit, was cooked. this spring, im enjoying the tender salad greens and delicate spring fruits and not cooking as much! and this summer i'll munch down on berries, cukes and spinach greens!! hehe!!
but anyhoo (hrm, more food talk...oops *grin*), i even did awesome at my parentals' last weekend. i didnt have any cookies, ice cream, or other junk food while i was there! SHOCKER! :-O
but, i did have a bit of a mini-whine-tantrum saturday evening when i was hungry and a bit munchy. i was walking back and forth between the fridge and cabinets, looking at all the stuff i couldnt eat. and what i COULD eat, i didnt want. i was whining like a brat!!
and i felt like crying, starting to feel sorry for myself and all that junk. its just hard when i go "home;" that's where i grew up and i want to eat what i grew up on. it brings back those comforting feelings!! not that i really needed comfort, except from the bashing i was doing to myself in my head!!
ANYHOO...i finally ended up having some green tea and later a small bowl of popcorn, so i did fine. the only exception for the weekend was one piece of bday cake at my niece's party. it was a cookout, and i even ate my hamburger without a bun since it's wheat. i felt like some sort of Atkin's nerd ;P but oh well, it just tasted like grilled meatloaf. *hehe*
this week has been super busy for me--i spent most of every day outside preparing and planting our veggie and herb gardens. i learned a lot doing last year's garden, so this year i vow to keep down the weeds! HEHE!
we've got cukes & pole beans on trellises, tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, brussels sprouts, spinach and a mix of salad greens planted. and in the herb garden, i have basil, cilantro, dill, tarragon, rosemary, parsley, chamomile and some annual flowers i planted from seed.
im really hoping to make this summer a great jump start to eating less--but foods that are nutritionally packed! i am starting to see how much i have missed most of my life by not eating fresh, seasonal produce. it really is super nummy!!! and its fun to grow! (AND cheaper. LOL)
hubby and i have both bumped up our activity levels this month, and im sure it will continue thru the summer. he's been riding his bike to work several times a week, for about an hour total each day. im really proud of him, cause its obviously not as convenient as driving--he has to take a change of clothes and his lunch, too. YAY HONEY!! XOXOX!
as for me, i'm still loving my hour of yoga on tuesdays and thursdays, and this week i've been sweatin my butt off outside in the gardens.
i rented a roto-tiller monday and spent a few hours tilling up our 15x20 plot. GUH! talk about SORE RIBCAGE MUSCLES for the next few days. that is one muscle that SUCKS when its sore *LOL*
i'll also ride my bike occasionally to the farmer's market so that will be a great way to get some fresh air, burn cals, AND run errands *hehe*
i have always wanted to be one of those "active" kindsa peeps--you know, ones that never really have to formally exercise, because they incorporate activity into the way they live! to me, that's the best way to enjoy it! not only do you reap the benefits of the physical activity, but at the same time you are healthy enough to enjoy the movement and surroundings or other purpose of whatever you're doing!! does that make sense?? hehe!
anyhoo, its a win-win thing, and i hope a year from now i will have accomplished what i am now envisioning :D
welp, hopefully whomever regularly reads this crazy blog is somehow inspired to make some changes for the betterment of your health! obviously im far from perfect--never will be--but i know im inspired by hearing the struggles, successes and ideas of others! so i figgered, heck, i'll share, too! plus, its just an outlet for me and my need to blab to someone about all my goofy ideas *cheesey grin*
have a superdooper weekend!! find some flowers in your yard and enjoy them today! i cut some fresh white lilacs this morning and am enjoying them here on my desk. they smell wonderful!
ttfn!!! :)
~josey~
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